Stone Cold
by IdiotWithaBoxandaScrewdriver
Summary: The battle with Hao has turned Yoh into stone, but he's not dead and his soul is fading fast. Hao may be the only one who can save him, but can he even help himself? Warning, Hao goes completely off the wall depressed-crazy.
1. Chapter 1

Star: New story! I hope you all enjoy a little dose of angst. I own nothing but the plot and whatever OCs choose to show up in this story!

_I can't do it._ Yoh thought dismally to himself, integrated with a huge form of Amidamaru and drunk with the power of every shaman in the area. _I can't kill him, it solves nothing. _ He and his brother Hao exchanged blows with each other. He was taunting Hao, hoping to trip him up. It wouldn't take much, judging by the look of utter madness in Hao's black eyes.

_There has to be something else I can try..._ Yoh could feel the swirled emotions of those who had lent him their power and an idea started forming in his head. _Great Spirits, if you can hear me, please, help me do this, help me make him understand._

Power surged through him as he leapt at Hao for the final blow. As he brought his blade down he simultaneously reached out with his mind to Hao's and essentially held him there. The feelings of all those who had come in contact with him, past and present flowed through Yoh and into Hao as he felt his sword strike.

It felt like time froze for a moment as they hung suspended there. Yoh wasn't sure if Hao's scream of horror was out loud or only in their minds, but it didn't matter. Hao fought the hold that Yoh had on his mind but Yoh held on as a multitude of pain, sadness, rage and even joy swept into Hao. His own feelings were only of sorrow and regret as he felt his limbs going cold and gravity reasserting its control on them both. The last thing he heard was his brother begging silently for him to make it stop, and then cold, numbing darkness swept over him.

%&%&%&%

Ren had to shield his eyes like the rest of them at the bright light that had burst up when Yoh and Hao had clashed. He squinted, but it was impossible to see anything, so he just closed his eyes again against the glare, not wishing to go blind. He thought he heard what sounded like a scream of pain and anguish and fervently hoped it wasn't Yoh who had made the sound.

The bright glow behind his eyelids began to fade and he cautiously opened his eyes, blinking slightly. At first he was confused because it looked like there was a statue of a human being before the Great Spirit which hadn't been there before. It wasn't until he noticed Amidamaru in spirit-ball form flitting around the statue, anxiously calling Yoh's name that he realized the truth.

Exhausted but determined to figure out what was going on he trotted over to the statue, moving around it to the front. The likeness was definitely Yoh, holding his sword out in front of him, his anguished expression immortalized in the stone he seemed to have become. There were trails of darker grey flowing down from the stone Yoh's eyes. When Ren touched them, he found it to be wet.

"What happened?" Horohoro yelped, the rest of them having come up to see what was going on.

"I don't know." Amidamaru moaned, poofing into his true form and grabbing at his hair. "All the sudden it felt like I was being pushed out of Yoh and when my head cleared, he was like this!"

"Are you sure it's really Yoh?" Lyserg asked.

"Do you see Yoh anywhere around here?" Ren demanded. "Come to think of it, where's Hao? I doubt he was disintegrated by that blast, whatever it was, and I'd like conclusive evidence of his death or continued life."

At that moment a smallish gasp made itself known to them. Ren turned slowly and was first to spot what looked like a crumpled bundle of clothes by the foot of the Great Spirit. He hefted his Bao-Lei, ignoring the aches of his body and quietly padded over to the prone figure, not wanting to be taken by surprise.

He realized as he got close that he needn't have bothered; Hao Asakura was in no condition to harm anyone. He was lying half-curled on the ground, his lower body on its side and his upper body twisted so that he was partially lying on his back, revealing the terrible wound in the center of his chest that spattered his clothes and the surrounding ground with blood.

Ren knelt by Hao's head, seeing that his eyes were open. Hao stared without seeing though, his eyes fixed in an expression of horror. Gurgling, painful gasps escaped his lips and his body trembled uncontrollably from pain and blood loss. He could probably live with his injuries, but only if they got him to a doctor soon.

"I'll put him out of his misery." Lyserg said venomously, lifting his pistol.

"No." Ren said, making a quick decision. "We're going to get him to a hospital."

"Why would you want to do that?" Ryu demanded. "Yoh just died for him, don't you want to make his death worthwhile?"

"Yes, and it is for that reason that I'm not allowing Hao to die. Yoh wouldn't have wanted that, would he?" Ren asked them fiercely, glaring them all in the eye. One by one they all looked away, knowing he was right. Faust calmly knelt down beside Ren, reaching out to place his fingers on Hao's throat, feeling his pulse. Hao flinched but his eyes didn't lose their look of blank horror.

"Pulse is weakening but still fairly strong." Faust murmured. Thin, pale fingers delicately felt about the ribcage. "Couple of broken ribs, but other than that and his superficial wound, he's fairly intact. I don't think I have the energy to perform surgery on him though." He told Ren apologetically.

Ren nodded his head. "Ryu, you'll carry him. We need to get him to the clinic." Ryu hesitated. "NOW!" Ren barked. Ryu flinched and hastened to obey. Hao let out a bubbly whimper as he was lifted up, but his expression did not change still.

As they turned Ren found Anna still standing next to the stone figure of Yoh, her back to them. She appeared to be touching his face gently. As they passed by her, bearing Hao with them, she turned and stared at them, her expression revealing nothing, and then turned back to her regard of her fiancé.

They moved quickly, as Hao was losing a lot of blood and sounded as though at least one of his broken ribs had pierced a lung. Ren fretted for a moment about whether the doctors would treat Hao, but sternly told himself he wouldn't give them any other choice.

To his surprise the doctors acted in a professional manner and whisked Hao away immediately into the operating room. Ren, being the suspicious type, ordered Bason to keep an eye on them, lest they decide to 'accidently' allow Hao to flat-line during surgery. A couple hours later Hao's prone body was wheeled out and one doctor detached himself to come over to speak to them. He was a tall, broad man with a stoic demeanour.

"He's fortunate you got him to us so quickly." He said in a rumbling voice. "Two broken ribs, one puncturing his lung and a hell of a lot of blood loss. He will live to see another day though."

Ren nodded his head and he and the others silently followed the doctor to where Hao was. He looked strangely small in the hospital bed, his skin pale and an oxygen tube sticking out of his mouth, making his chest rise up and down rhythmically.

"We did what you would have wanted us to do Yoh, I hope you can rest in peace now." Ren whispered. "But if he tries to hurt anyone again, we will kill him, not as revenge for you, but to prevent others from being hurt. I hope you can understand that."

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Wolf: The idea of Yoh giving Hao all the feelings of everyone he's ever come in contact with came from the book Inheritance, by Christopher Paolini. In that book Eragon uses the same idea, making Galbatorix understand what he'd done to defeat him. Considering Galbatorix destroyed himself to get away from the pain, I'd say it was a roaring success.


	2. Chapter 2

Star: I own nothing!

When Ren and the rest of them trudged back to the house they were staying at, Anna was already waiting for them there. She glared in particular at Ren. "How could you do that?" She yelled at him, lifting a hand in preparation for a slap when he tried to push past her. For the first time Ren dared to catch her wrist and prevent her from doing so.

"I am not in the mood today, Anna." He growled. "You know perfectly well that killing him would have appalled your fiancé, it's only your grief that's making you act this way."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Anna denied, tugging her wrist from Ren's grip. "But my fiancé is dead and that monster is alive." She said bitterly. "And I blame you."

"You're not the only one who lost someone important Anna." Ren informed her coolly. "Yoh was the first real friend I ever had, and now he's gone. We're all hurting, but most of us know that Yoh would have wanted us to save Hao, and so we did. I do not feel guilty for doing so."

Anna glared at him for a moment more and then stomped off upstairs. No one went after her. The only one who could even try to comfort her without feeling the sharp sting of her tongue or her hand was gone and all of them were feeling a little lost without his subtle leadership.

Ren collapsed into a nearby chair, sighing as the last of his energy left him. The rest of them sprawled out on the floor or in chairs around him. It seemed with Yoh gone the torch of leadership had passed to him. Honestly he felt like he'd been set adrift like the rest of them, but maybe a good night's sleep would help.

He got up and slowly trudged upstairs, the setting sun casting a blood-like red light on the walls. It was ironic, almost poetic, but Ren was too tired to even appreciate it. He shut the door to his room, locking it behind himself, convincing himself it was because he didn't want anyone disturbing his sleep, and not because he wanted to grieve in private.

%&%&%&%

The morning came and with it the realization that it hadn't been some horrible dream. Yoh was still gone, and Hao was in the hospital. Ren picked at his breakfast, a sloppily thrown together affair, disinterestedly. Ren finally stopped pretending to eat it and dumped the contents in the garbage.

"I'm going to see if he died in the night, anyone want to come?" Most shook their heads, but Lyserg just outright ignored him. He got his Bao-Lei, not wanting to be caught without it, just in case, and began the long walk to the clinic. Truthfully he was glad no one else was going with him, he wanted to be left alone. He couldn't handle it if people were constantly asking him if he was alright, he hated being pitied.

He toyed with the idea of visiting Yoh's statue, but he thought that the Patch would have closed off the area by now. Besides, he didn't need to add to his already frazzled emotional state. Not that he'd admit out loud that he was feeling as emotionally drained as he really was, but the principle of the matter was still there.

The clinic was empty when he got there, which was pretty regular. There weren't any fights so there weren't any injuries to take care of. It was kind of eerie though, the only sounds were his own footsteps as he padded quietly down the hallway.

He almost didn't need to go in to know that Hao was still alive, the beep of his heart monitor and the hiss of the oxygen pump was proof enough that he still lived. He walked over to the bed and noticed something strange. There appeared to be a leather collar with symbols stamped into it.

"Yup, he's still alive." Ren whirled, his Bao-Lei at the ready, only to find the doctor from yesterday standing in the doorway.

"What's with the collar?" Ren asked bluntly as the doctor came forward to check the IVs going into Hao's arms.

"It inhibits his powers." The doctor replied. "Goldva came down last night and had it put on him. Apparently once he's recovered he's being put on trial for all that he's done."

"I thought the Patch were neutral?"

"We are, but Hao crossed the line this time, did the taboo, so we can drop our usual way of doing things." The doctor answered. Ren nodded tersely and looked back at Hao. He frowned, seeing something that looked quite out of place.

"Can he feel any pain?" He asked. The doctor frowned slightly.

"He shouldn't, he's under heavy sedatives and painkillers."

"Well, he appears to be crying." Ren informed him. It was true, there were tears trickling down from the corners of Hao's closed eyes. The doctor's frown deepened, but then he shook his head.

"One thing we are not sure of yet is how the subconscious works. He may be experiencing the pain on some deep level and his body is reacting to it. He doesn't seem to be in any distress, so it's probably no cause for concern."

"Thank you doctor." Ren spoke in a tone that was clearly a dismissal. The doctor seemed to get the hint and walked away. Good.

Ren found a chair and sat down by the bed, still staring at the tears slowly trickling down Hao's pale cheeks. The others would probably wonder what the hell he was doing here, and if he was going to be honest, he wasn't really sure of that himself.

"Should be Yoh in that bed, not you." He growled quietly. Hao didn't react to the sound of his voice; not that he expected him to. "I don't know what I should think about them putting you on trial. They'll probably just have you killed and this whole insane cycle will start all over and Yoh's death will mean nothing!"

Ren breathed out a moment, realizing how close he'd come to yelling in anger. He didn't need that doctor to come running. "I despise you, not only because of what you put us through, but because you remind me of how I used to be, and what I could have turned into." Ren had absolutely no idea why he was talking to Hao like this, but it seemed to unwind something in him a little bit. "Yoh saw past that though, didn't he?"

Ren closed his eyes, remembering his first couple meetings with Yoh. The way Yoh had talked to him, friendly and encouraging. He'd been suspicious of him, right up when he'd left to go confront his father, but then Yoh had proved himself again, coming to his rescue even though he could have been seriously hurt or killed in the process. He owed Yoh his life, several times over.

It occurred to Ren that though the wounds that Hao sustained were bad, they were not nearly as bad as Yoh could have given him. Could it be that Yoh had held back, that he had purposely not killed Hao? "Why would he do that? Why would he spare you? Did he see something in you, like he did with me?"

Ren rubbed at his temples. "Yoh's still one of the most frustratingly contradictory people I ever met. He always acted so naive, and yet he could be so wise. He had this way with people, he could see past their masks right to the real person inside, but you knew that, didn't you?" A thought occurred to Ren, one that hadn't before. "You were always brushing him off when he tried to have a conversation. Did you fear letting him get to you, letting him peel away the mask you were wearing?"

Ren thought of the cocky little smirk Hao always wore and realized it was similar to the one he used to display. "I wore my mask to hide pain and anger, what were you hiding behind yours? What kind of person are you, really?"

Ren rubbed at his eyes and continued to muse. "Sometimes I think Yoh was the smartest of us, even if he acted like a lazy moron most of the time." He paused. "I truly wish you could have realized what a fascinating and frustrating person your brother really was. Maybe then you wouldn't have treated him like dirt."

Ren got up, it would not do to be gone for too long. He took one last look at Hao's unconscious face; asleep, he could almost mistake him for Yoh.

%&%&%&%

**Floating in empty blackness...**

**Burning...burning with the thoughts and feelings of all those he'd wronged**

**...it hurt... hurt so much... burned too much...**

**Coolness... like a hug from some unknown source**

**...sorrow, sympathy... easing the pain a little bit**

_**This was the only way to make you understand... I'm sorry**_

**Voice... so familiar...can't think...**

**Coolness fading away...sorrow and sympathy disappearing...reaching out.. trying to find the other...**

_**Getting cold... please ... h**__**e**__**l**__**p me...**_

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Star: Review plz!


	3. Chapter 3

Star: I own nothing!

Ren sat upon the roof of the house, staring up at the night sky. Normally Yoh would join him and the two of them would talk, well, Ren would try to bait him into an argument, but Yoh would take the hint. It was amazing how non-confrontational Yoh could be, yet he was one of the best fighters Ren had ever met, not that he'd say that to his face.

"Guten abend." Ren looked up, finding Faust standing there. The pale, thin German man smiled down at him, the light of the moon turning his face skull-like. "May I join you?"

"Free country." Ren said noncommittally. Faust said down with a sigh.

"Strange days, strange days, ja?" The skeletal doctor intoned. "Honestly I did not expect to live through that, but what did happen was even more unexpected, ja?"

"Yes, strange indeed." Ren said. "Why would Yoh have turned to stone anyways?"

"Well, I was speaking with Silva and he said it may have been a backlash of power that caused it." Faust said. "Have you seen Amidamaru lately?"

"I think he stayed with the statue of Yoh." Ren replied. "I think he's holding on to the hope that Yoh's still alive somehow, but..."

"It's a false hope, ja." Faust looked up at the sky. "Though it feels as though something is missing now that he's gone, doesn't it?" Ren nodded. "You and I are a little alike, Ren, if only because we did not like Yoh at the start and were willing to commit murder to reach our goals."

"And then Yoh showed up."

"And then Yoh showed up." Faust agreed. "He's got the same sort of charisma as Hao does, but they use it in very different ways."

"One has an almost child-like lightness to him that compels the soul, and the other has a dark magnetism that speaks to your deepest resentment." Ren growled, remembering the times he'd been spoken to by Hao, that malevolent magnetism that tried to fuel the bitterness that Ren had buried away. Thankfully, he wasn't that easy to sway.

"You went to check on Hao earlier today, didn't you?" Faust suddenly said. Ren jerked his head around and glared at Faust, but the German doctor gazed mildly back, no hint of anger or accusation on his face.

"And what if I did?" Ren snapped anyways.

"How you deal with your grief is your business, but please tell me you weren't doing something like carving new wounds into him?" Faust said placidly.

"No, I just talked to him while he slept away." Ren admitted. He felt safe telling Faust, as the doctor fiercely adhered to the patient confidentiality promise.

"Trying to work your own feelings out with a captive audience, an interesting method." Faust observed. "You know, we used to be a little like Hao, I think, you and I." Ren suppressed the surprise he felt.

"What makes you say that?" He asked nonchalantly.

"We, all three of us, put aside the concept of mercy in order to do what we felt must be done." Faust explained. "No matter the consequences." He paused, staring up at the sky with a pondering expression. "I wonder if Yoh could have healed Hao as he seemed to have healed us."

"What do you mean?" Ren asked, feeling confused.

"Anger is most often born from pain. My pain was the death of my beloved, yours was the abuse you suffered over many years channelled into your hate for all mankind. Hao has a thousand years worth of anger, something very painful must be keeping that fire stoked." Faust sighed. "Yoh saw our pain and helped us understand it, so that anger was no longer needed to keep it from hurting. I wonder if he could have done the same with Hao?"

Ren was surprised that Faust had come up with basically the same conclusion as him. Hindsight was 20-20 he supposed and none of them were as good at looking past the obvious like Yoh was, especially in the heat of battle, when they were angry. Faust was an intelligent man, now that the threat was gone, the adrenaline no longer pumping and the fear abated, it was easier to dwell on Hao's humanity rather than what made him a monster.

"I think Yoh was better than all of us." Ren admitted quietly. "He saw the best in everyone, never the worst, and tried to bring that to the surface. We all condemned Hao as soon as we knew who he was, but Yoh..."

"I think Yoh tried to change him, but Hao appears to be as stubborn as Yoh in that respect." Faust observed. "Are you planning on going back to see Hao again?"

Ren hesitated, thinking about that. "Yes, I think I will. I kind of want to be there when he wakes up." He said with a thin smirk.

"Hmm, I think you should keep your visits to yourself for now." Faust stated. "I don't think the others will understand, particularly Lyserg."

"You're probably right." Ren agreed. "Even Horohoro and Ryu are too hot-headed and idiotic to consider that I'm not going 'evil', and Anna... let's just say I'd like to keep my head."

"That's probably wise." Faust said. He stood up with a groan. "Goodnight, Ren."

"Goodnight Faust." Ren stayed on the rooftop, still needing some time to think. He was even more curious now about Hao's motives, now that he knew that Faust thought the same as him. What could have been so painful for Hao that it had eaten away at his soul until he allowed his hatred to rule him?

Both Hao and Yoh had been puzzles in their own way. Yoh for being so cheerful-minded even in the darkest of circumstances and seemingly possessing of a wisdom beyond his years. Hao for being so elusive about who he truly was, though they'd found out some of his past, and for being able to hide his true emotions so well you wondered if that smirk was actually painted on his face.

Ren sighed and shook his head; too many thoughts and he was tired. He got up, taking one last look at the stars and wishing Yoh was there sleepily gazing at them with him, and headed inside to sleep.

%&%&%&%

It was funny that even after a few days of leaving for hours at a time, no one questioned him on where he'd been going. It helped that he was already a solitary type of person by nature, but he also figured they were all still trapped in a haze of grief. It made his life a little easier at least, so he didn't complain about his team-mates' obvious lack of observation skills.

Once the word got out that Hao was going to be put on trial, a lot had refused to leave, including all of Yoh's friends. The Patch had decided they could all stand as witnesses to Hao's crimes and allowed them to stay. Of course the X-Laws had stayed as well, though thankfully Ren hadn't run into them at all.

Ren sighed and sat down in the chair by Hao's bed, watching the fire-shaman's face for any sign that consciousness was returning. He was thankful that Hao wasn't crying this time, it was unnerving to the tears silently trickling down his face as he slept. It was even more unnerving when it just randomly started up while he was sitting there.

The steady beep-beep of the heart monitor and the hiss of the oxygen machine could have lulled him to sleep, but he was vigilant. All the sudden he spotted a twitch. He sat up, waiting for any other sign. Hao's brows furrowed and his head moved back and forth a moment, mouth working around the oxygen tube.

Ren got the fright of his life as Hao's eyes shot open and he attempted to sit up quickly, only half-succeeding because of his weakness and the painkillers running through his veins. He collapsed back onto the bed, bringing his hands up to claw frantically at the oxygen tube coming out of his mouth. The heart monitor screamed an alarm as Ren stood transfixed, at a loss of what he should do.

Thankfully a moment later a trio of doctors rushed in, summoned by the blaring heart monitor and sprang into action. Two gripped one of Hao's arms each and despite the thousand-year old shaman's surprisingly powerful struggles, managed to secure his wrists into restraints attached to the bed. The third did the same with his legs and a shot of morphine was administered.

The doctors left and Ren moved back to the bed. Hao was still conscious, eyes darting around frantically as he pulled weakly at the restraints that held his arms down. Ren cautiously peered down at him, waiting for Hao's face to twist into a sneer or a snarl at the sight of him. Instead glazed black eyes stared up at him, uncomprehending.

There was a muted sense of drug-addled terror in them and then for a moment, just a moment, a spark of recognition and something else leapt into Hao's eyes before they glazed over completely and closed, the sedative finally doing its work. Ren sat down in the chair with a thud, feeling baffled. For that one small moment, he'd thought he'd seen something very strange in Hao's eyes; guilt.

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Star: Review plz!


	4. Chapter 4

Star: I own nothing!

As he came out of his drug-induced sleep for a second time Hao felt slow and stupid. Even through the fog in his brain he could remember vaguely his last attempt at waking up. He'd tried to take in air and panicked when he couldn't and realized there was something in his mouth, preventing him from breathing. After that it was just a blur and then darkness again.

He remembered one final thing, but it had been a dream; someone calling his name in the darkness and then a clammy hand dropping onto his shoulder. His drug-slowed mind dubbed it as 'creepy'. As the fog started clearing from his mind Hao began to wish it would stay, because in its absence the memories of all the feelings of those he'd hurt intruded again.

Pain, both physical and mental, pulsed through him. He swallowed around the tube in his mouth as he felt tears prick his eyes. There was too much pain, all of which was because of him, and for the first time since he was a child all those years ago he allowed the tears to flow consciously, trickling down his cheeks in a silent torrent.

%&%&%&%

Faust had listened to Ren's account of Hao's drug-induced panic attack from yesterday and found himself curious despite himself. He'd told himself he was not going to go see Hao in the hospital. He had been honest with Ren about understanding Hao a bit, but as with Eliza, the death of Yoh and Hao's continued existence made him angry, and he was aware that he sometimes did crazy things when he was angry.

But Ren's assertion that Hao had looked guilty just a moment before passing out intrigued him. Seeing that Hao woken up once, unless the doctors decided to keep him sedated indefinitely, he would probably wake again soon. It would be interesting to see if something indeed had changed in Hao.

"Guten morgen." He said to Ren as he came in the kitchen. The arrangements for meals had kind of deteriorated into an 'every man for himself' situation, which was fine considering the number of restaurants in the area. "I was hoping to accompany you this morning, if you were going to stop by the clinic."

"Yeah." Typical Ren, not very forthcoming, which was why he found their conversation the other night unusual, though he supposed even the ever-stoic Chinese boy needed someone to talk to at this time. Yoh had been their rock, their center, and now he was gone and they were all left wondering 'where do we go from here?'

Ren poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot that Faust had made and sat down, sipping it casually, putting out that air of 'fuck off' that he had about him. He was a prickly young fellow and though Faust was no psychiatrist he thought that some of that was due to trust issues and being wary of allowing others to get too close to him.

Faust's mind wandered back to Yoh, missing his cheerful smile already. Yoh seemed to make the world a bit brighter for all of them. Yoh had taken the chance and trusted Faust enough to allow him into his circle of friends, even after nearly killing him and Manta; he shuddered at that memory. Yoh had promised to try and find a way to bring back Eliza, but he had also said something else that had made Faust pause.

_/Flashback/_

"_People die every day, Faust." Yoh told him. "I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Little kids, teenagers, men and women in their primes, none of them deserved to die, and yet it happens." He put a hand on Faust's shoulder. "I know it hurt to have her die, but you're luckier than most people who have someone they love deeply die; you can see her, and you can touch her still. They don't even have that hope, not until the afterlife, anyways." _

"_It's still not fair." Faust said, painfully aware of how petulant he sounded. Yoh gave him a sympathetic look though._

"_I know it isn't and that's why when I'm the Shaman King, I'm going to make sure it won't happen again." Yoh stated grandly. _

"_Why?" _

"_I can't rest knowing people out in the world are suffering." Yoh replied. Faust shook his head. _

"_You're a strange person, Yoh. You care more about other people than yourself."_

"_Is that so bad? If everyone cared more about the people around them rather than themselves, don't you think the world would be a kinder place?"_

_/End Flashback/_

Yoh was an idealist alright, but you couldn't help but get caught up in his vision of what the world could be, he believed so much that it could happen. He inspired them all, gave them hope, encouraged them and helped them to dream. With him gone it felt as though those dreams would die, without him there to tend to them as only he knew best how to do.

"I'm going now." Ren informed him, shaking him out of his thoughts. The teen didn't even wait for him to answer and headed for the door. Faust shook his head in resignation and put his coffee cup in the sink before following Ren quietly out of the house, Eliza beside him and Frankensteiny trailing behind them.

It was kind of nice to be in an actual hospital again, if only as a visitor, he thought wistfully to himself. He found he'd begun to miss the work of doctoring during the fighting, though Yoh and his friends supplied enough wounds to keep him busy most of the time. But, there was something about the atmosphere of the hospital, the purpose of its inhabitants, the smell, the sounds; they just spoke of home to him.

The room Hao had been put in was the very farthest from anywhere else in the clinic. A large bear spirit, one of the Patch's no doubt, stood by the doorway, guarding it. He merely nodded at the large creature as it turned intelligent brown eyes on him. The spirit grunted and let them pass without incident.

Faust was a little surprised that the oxygen tube was still in Hao's mouth; his lung puncture should have healed sufficiently enough to take it out. It seemed they were not taking any chances with him, or they wanted to avoid having to listen to Hao rage at them, as he was sure Hao would do once he understood his situation, as long as possible.

As he moved to the bed he noticed that Hao looked conscious; that is, his eyes were open. However, the onyx orbs were simply staring up at the ceiling with an unnaturally blank expression. "What's wrong with him?" Ren demanded, after waving his hand in front of Hao's face a couple times and getting no reaction.

Faust found his worry about his anger disappearing as he quickly settled into his doctor role and set about inspecting his new patient. "Hmm." He mused to himself and used the bed's remote to lift the head of the bed up so that Hao was sitting up. He noted as he did so that the restraints he'd been told about had not been removed and there was some bruising around Hao's wrists.

He rummaged around in the white coat he always wore and took a small light out. He gently propped one of Hao's eyelids open and shined the light in it. Hao flinched slightly in response. "Pupils are dilating fine." Faust said, repeating the action with the other eye. He placed a hand on Hao's forehead, frowning a little at the slight clamminess to Hao's skin.

"Well?" Ren growled impatiently. Faust sighed at him.

"Don't rush the doctor." He said calmly. He then inspected the IV dripping painkillers into Hao's blood. "The dosage isn't high enough to put him on a high." He muttered. The dosage in fact wasn't as high as it would normally be with the level of injuries that Hao had sustained; it seemed the doctors were holding a grudge. Faust snorted at their unprofessional attitude and adjusted the drip slightly so the dosage was a little higher, so that Hao wasn't in an uncomfortable amount of pain.

Ren huffily sighed, clearly annoyed. "I can't actually find anything to explain why he's like this." Faust finally admitted. He snapped his fingers next to Hao's ear. Hao jerked, his eyes flickering for just a moment. Faust almost did it again, but then noticed something strange about Hao's face. A trail down his cheeks that looked a little darker and slicker than the rest of his skin. He wiped at it with his thumb, and was startled to find it to be wet.

"He's faking it, isn't he?" Ren growled.

"I'm not sure faking it is the right word." Faust argued. "I think it's more he's trying to avoid having to deal with the world. The low dose of painkiller may have been a factor, trying to shut out the pain."

"Damn, there's some things I'd really like to say to him." Ren said, punching the side of the bed in anger. The jolt made Hao jump a little and his eyes lost their blank expression. Faust was stunned by the expression of soul-searing pain that took its place. He'd seen that stare in his own mirror in the days soon after Eliza's death, when he wondered what good was there left to live for. He found himself feeling pity for the murderous thousand-year old shaman, and after a moment it became clear he wasn't the only one.

"Can't you do anything for him?" Ren asked in the barest of whispers. One look was all that Faust needed to tell that Ren was having trouble with the agony in Hao's eyes. He took a syringe from one of his many pockets, he considered it essential to have at least one, and gently administered it to Hao. Hao shuddered and his anguished eyes clouded over. A moment before they closed they flashed with gratitude.

"There's something very wrong with him, isn't there?" Ren said quietly. Faust nodded his head, wondering what on earth Yoh had done.

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	5. Chapter 5

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**He floated in blackness, the whispers of tormented souls whom he'd hurt all around him. Slowly in the darkness a new whisper reached his ears.**

'**Haaooooo...' It was his brother's voice, he knew it anywhere.**

'**What do you want?' He cried into the darkness. 'Haven't you done enough to me?'**

'**Haaaoooo...' The whisper was closer and Hao felt his blood pounding in his ears. He couldn't see anything, but he could sense something in the darkness. A cold, hard hand descended upon his shoulder-**

Hao jerked out of sleep and immediately began to gag. He'd woken up just as the doctors were taking the oxygen tube out. He lifted his hands, finding that he'd been released his restraints and tried to push the doctor's hands away.

"Enough." The doctor said professionally. "I'm almost done." Hao lowered his hands and gagged again as the end of the tube came out. "Excellent, breathe in and out." Hao did as he asked. He should have enjoyed the feeling of air entering his lungs, but he felt numb and tired. The doctor nodded once and left the room.

Hao leaned his head back, closing his eyes. That dream again. It was definitely Yoh calling to him, but for what reason? He was sure it wasn't a fabrication of his own mind; his own nightmares tended to feature memories long past. No, he could feel Yoh reaching out for him in this dream; Yoh was trying actively to frighten him, or make him go mad, or so it seemed. Why else would it happen repeatedly in one moment of sleep?

He barely looked up as the doctor came in and set a tray with a bowl of chicken broth on Hao's bed. Hao stared down at the food dispassionately, finding he had no appetite. What was the point of him living anymore anyways? All that he'd done, all those that he'd hurt, and for what? To satisfy his thirst for vengeance? He'd become that which he'd despised so much because of his hatred. He was a monster.

The doctor let out an annoyed sigh. "You need to eat. You will not recover if you do not." He didn't particularly want to recover. He ignored the food, waiting for the doctor to give up on him. It seemed that fate was determined to be against him though. "Well, if you won't eat voluntarily, I guess we do this the hard way."

He turned and called something, Hao wasn't paying attention. But he did pay attention when strong hands held his arms down and strapped them down once more. Instinctually Hao began to thrash, a sense of claustrophobia washing over him. The doctor caught his face and held it still in spite of Hao's struggles.

A thin tube covered in lubricating jelly was pushed into his left nostril. Hao gagged at the sensation and tried to pull away from the hands that held his head still. His struggles were in vain however as the thin tube slid through his nose and down his oesophagus as he continued to gag at the strange and unpleasant feelings. Once the tube was in place the doctor secured the end of it with some surgical tape that itched like mad and immediately hooked it to a bag of greyish brown liquid that was attached to his IV pole.

The doctor finally left him alone and Hao shuddered at the feeling of the cold liquid oozing its way through his nose and down his throat. He slumped against the bed, the restraints making him unable to even try to take the tube out. He wondered wearily why they seemed so concerned about keeping him alive, but suspected it wasn't anything positive for him.

%&%&%&%

Ren stalked through the clinic's halls toward Hao's room. Faust had not accompanied him this time, so he was alone. He hoped that Hao was actually lucid this time; he had questions for him. He felt a pang of pity at the memory of the emotional agony in Hao's eyes the last time he'd seen him. He shook his head slightly; it would not do to completely ignore the crimes that Hao had committed. It could have been a reaction to drugs, despite what Faust had said. He would have to wait and see.

He peeked cautiously into Hao's room and found him with his eyes closed, head to one side as his chest rose and fell slowly. Ren couldn't tell if he was asleep or merely trying to sleep. The tube had been removed from Hao's mouth, but a smaller one was now poking out of his one nostril. Ren frowned and grabbed the arm of the first doctor who passed him.

"What's that tube for?" He demanded quietly.

"It's a feeding tube." The doctor explained. "He refused to eat."

"Why not just let him?" Ren asked. "Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to."

"The council wants him strong and well for his trial, so he can't be faint from hunger." The doctor replied. He brushed by Ren, hurrying along his way.

Ren stepped into the room, making sure his footsteps could be heard. Hao's eyes opened slightly at the sound and then closed again wearily. Ren sat down and sighed, making Hao twitch slightly, but he continued to ignore Ren. This annoyed him.

"You know you look pretty stupid with that tube in your nose." Hao's eyes opened slightly, but he didn't look at Ren. "I don't know if this is some kind of rebellion or something else," Depression, maybe? "But obviously it's not working. The doctors aren't going to let you starve yourself."

"Don't see why they would care." Ren almost didn't hear what Hao had said, his voice was so soft.

"The council wants you well for when they put you on trial." There, let's see how Hao dealt with that piece of information.

Hao shifted slightly and Ren saw that he'd been restrained again. "Not a trial, that's an execution." Hao muttered.

"Hmph, probably." Ren agreed. "So you can see why they wouldn't let you starve yourself."

"The knowing is not exactly incentive for me to want to eat." Hao mumbled dismally.

"Perhaps not, but at least feeding yourself will save you some dignity."

"What makes you think I care about dignity anymore?" Ren paused at the question and took a good look at Hao. The thousand-year old shaman stared down, not meeting Ren's eyes. There were dark circles around the black eyes and his hair was matted and snarled. Hao genuinely didn't seem to care how much of a mess he was.

"It can't feel very pleasant to have that thing in your nose." Ren wheedled, switching tactics. "And if you at least try to cooperate they probably won't restrain you anymore. I'll bet your wrists are getting nice and bruised." Hao pulled at the straps binding his wrists, swallowing noticeably. "I'll bet you can't drink with that thing in your nose either, must be getting pretty dry." Hao swallowed again and Ren distinctly heard a dry click."Why don't I get the doctor and tell him you're ready to cooperate?" To his amazement, Hao nodded meekly.

Ren got up and hurried from the room, shaking his head. It had been far too easy to manipulate Hao. Something was very wrong, very, very wrong with the normally domineering fire shaman. Once again he wondered what Yoh had done, because there was no way Hao had gotten like this on his own. Hao just seemed lost, almost broken in some way.

"Doctor." He called out to the huge man who had spoken to him first after they'd brought Hao in. The doctor looked up and nodded at him. "You can take that tube out of Hao's nose, he'll cooperate." The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"I'll bring some food along to judge that for myself." He said slowly. Ren nodded his head and impatiently waited for the doctor to return. He came back with a container of oatmeal mixed with fruit and a bottle of water. Ren followed the doctor back to Hao's room.

He waited as the doctor removed the tube from Hao's nose, Hao gagging the whole time. The restraints were then removed and Hao absentmindedly rubbed at his bruised wrists. The doctor placed the bowl of oatmeal in front of Hao and stood back, waiting.

Hao picked up the spoon and without much enthusiasm began to eat. The doctor left again, apparently satisfied. Ren sat back down, keeping an eye on Hao and making sure he wouldn't do something like dump the rest of his food. Hao picked listlessly at the oatmeal and reached for the water bottle instead, taking a long gulp of water, grimacing at the flavour of plastic that had seeped into the water.

"Yoh did something, didn't he?" Ren commented as Hao slowly ate. "You're not the same as you were. What did he do?"

Hao was silent for a long time, making Ren wonder if he would actually answer. "He made me understand." Hao finally said softly. "He gave me the feelings and memories of all those I'd ever encountered in my life. All the pain, all the sorrow, all the anger I caused."

Ren sucked in a shocked breath. He couldn't imagine having to feel the emotions of all those he'd hurt. He'd probably go mad and try to kill himself knowing truly how much pain he'd caused. It occurred to him that death was probably what Hao wanted now and that he would not even try to defend himself in the trial.

"I never meant to become this." Hao whispered almost plaintively. "Yoh showed me what I'd been blind to for so many years, that I'd become one of the monsters I strove to destroy." His voice was filled with self-loathing. "I hurt people the way I'd been hurt, I deserve worse than what hell has to offer."

Ren wished that Yoh was here, he was so much better at being nice and comforting. But Yoh was gone, though it seemed his legacy lived on. Death was probably a kind fate for Hao, the worst thing they could do was to make him keep on living, unable to do anything to try to pay for the evils he'd committed.

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	6. Chapter 6

Star: I own nothing!

Hao jerked awake yet again, sweat rolling down his face. It was the third time that night he'd been woken up from the dream of Yoh's voice calling his name and the cold hand on his shoulder. He lay back, trying to get comfortable while wondering what use was trying to sleep.

He closed his eyes and breathed out, feeling drained. It hurt a bit to breathe, thanks to his broken ribs, but the physical pain helped distract him from his mental agony, at least for a little while. What Yoh had done to him was almost cruel, but it had done what Yoh had always wanted; it stopped him without having to kill him. Ironically, all Hao wanted to do now was die.

He found it a little strange now that he was thinking somewhat clearly that Yoh had not come to see him at all, and just continued to send him those terrifying dreams. Had Yoh given up on him after all, even after what he'd done to Hao? Hao felt rejected, knowing how many former enemies had known Yoh's kindness, and yet he couldn't be one of them?

He tried to clear his mind, exhausted from lack of sleep. As he did so he heard voices coming towards him. He didn't open his eyes, hoping they would just go away and leave him alone. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone?

"How soon do you think he'll be ready for a trial?" It was Silva's voice.

"So long as we don't suffer any more setbacks, in another week or so." Came the doctor's reply.

"It's a damned injustice." Silva said softly.

"What is?"

"That he's still alive, and Yoh is dead." Hao felt his insides turn to ice and his mind numb at the simple words. Dead? Yoh was... dead? He began to hyperventilate, panic rising in him anew. No, it couldn't be, he couldn't be dead!

He didn't realize he was screaming until hands grabbed his arms and for a third time, restrained them. He fought, blinded by tears that were somehow falling from his eyes. The prick of a needle cut through his mindless misery and he succumbed to the numbing darkness.

**Nothing but darkness again, but this time he could feel something a little different. Desperation... weariness...**

'_**Haoooo...'**_** His brother's voice was so soft now, like he was far away.**

'_**Yoh! What do you want from me?' **_**He cried, not expecting an answer.**

'_**Hao... help... me...' **_**Ice cold hand on his shoulder but this time he didn't jolt awake. He could feel himself being drawn up, that icy, hard hand trying to hold him back to no avail. **_**'Please... help...'**_

Consciousness intruded slowly, making him feel like he was trying to pull himself out of syrup. His thoughts were slow and disjointed, even when he'd regained full consciousness and it took his slow mind a couple minutes of tugging to realize he was restrained.

"Oh good gods, what the hell did you do now?" Hao opened his eyes slowly, blinking ponderously a couple times to try and clear blurriness away. Ren and Faust stared down at him. His sluggish thoughts struggled to arrange themselves into something coherent.

"What..." His tongue felt thick and unwieldy and his words were slurred. "What happened to Yoh?" His mind tried to make sense of the mixture of pain and anger on both their faces, and his stomach knotted in dread.

"He's gone." Ren said, sounding harsh. Hao closed his eyes; it was such an effort to hold onto thoughts enough to put them into words, but he fought through the fog in his brain.

"How... how did it happen?" He asked. He received silence in return. "Please... I need... I need to know."

"He was turned to stone." Ren said. Hao frowned at that. Turned to stone? Something niggled at his brain and he resisted the effects of the sedative to try and get to it. Yoh had called out for help in the last dream, what if all those dreams had been cries for help? It took a moment for him to make the connection, but when he did the adrenaline that surged through him cut through the cotton in his brain and he tried jerk free.

"He's not dead!" He yelled in a panic. Ren and Faust took a step; he probably looked like a maniac. "He's not dead."

"How can he not be dead? He was turned into stone!" Ren reminded him. "He's gone." Hao shook his head from side to side.

"He's been calling out to me in my sleep, calling for help. I didn't understand it until now, he's got to be trapped in there." Hao said, tripping over his words in his rush to be understood. Ren frowned and Faust looked thoughtful.

"You were just dreaming."

"I was not dreaming." Hao said adamantly, tears of frustration beginning to build in his eyes as another wonderful side effect of the drugs he was on. "He's been calling out to me, I swear it on... on my mother's name."

Ren and Faust seemed to sense this was very serious indeed. "Why would Yoh contact you though?"

"Because I'm the only one with some kind of mental connection to him." Hao said tiredly. "It was probably the only way he could get a plea for help out. If only I'd understood it sooner." He finished in a whisper.

"If what you say is correct," Faust said slowly. "Then Yoh is not dead, and could be revived?"

"With the correct spell, probably." Hao blinked rapidly, feeling the effects of the sedative creeping back into his brain again, slowing him. "There's one big problem though."

"What?" Ren demanded. Hao paused, his point trying to slip away from him.

"Yoh is in an in-between state, his body's not alive and not dead. His soul..." He grimaced, resisting the haze threatening to overwhelm him. "His soul cannot survive in such an environment, and it can't get out of his body, he's trapped, and his soul... his soul is fading away."

"He's dying?" Hao shook his head.

"Dying is okay..." He frowned slightly. "Dying you still go on, just in a different way. Yoh... Yoh is fading, disappearing from existence completely."

"What?" Ren looked aghast. "You can't be serious?"

"Wish I wasn't."Hao said dismally. It was only the tranquilizers that were keeping him calm. The one lucid spark in his mind knew that he would be crying and screaming knowing Yoh was fading away. His drug-addled mind mused about his new-found, or rather newly admitted, respect and care for his little brother. He'd distanced himself from Yoh most of the time because he wanted what Yoh had; he wanted to be like the others, able to experience that smile that Yoh had just for the ones he cared about. He came back to himself, realizing that Ren had been talking to himself.

"What?" He asked. Ren sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Do you know if it is possible to reverse whatever turned Yoh to stone?"

"I don't." Hao said, feeling a thrill of fear at his own words. "There may be something out there, but I have never heard of it."

"Then we need to find it." Ren said decisively. "How much time do we have?" Hao looked down.

"Days, maybe." He said dully. "He's getting so weak, I can feel it." Tears pricked his eyes again and finally fell. Amazingly Faust reached out and awkwardly patted Hao on the head.

"As Yoh would say, everything will work out." He stated softly. "We'll bring the others into this, all our minds working together should be able to come up with something quickly." Hao nodded his head, still fighting against the drugs. "Don't fight the sedative, I think you need your rest." Hao nodded again and closed his eyes, slipping back into unconsciousness.

'_**Hao...' **_**The whispered voice and the clutching hand held no fear for him anymore. **

'_**Yoh, your friends are going to help you, you're going to be alright.' **_**Hao felt as though he were lying as he grasped the hand on his shoulder, holding it gently. **_**'You're going to be fine, I promise.'**_

'_**...so... cold...' **_**came the soft moan.**

'_**I know, I know you're cold, but just hold on for a little longer.' **_**Hao pleaded, holding onto Yoh's freezing cold, hard as stone hand, afraid that if he let go Yoh would be lost forever. **

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	7. Chapter 7

Star: I own nothing!

"We need some way to confirm what Hao is saying is truth." Ren said decisively to Faust as they left the clinic.

"How?" Faust asked. Ren chewed at his lip, thinking. He spotted Silva and an idea occurred to him.

"Silva!" He called, making the official stop and turn. Silva strode towards them, his eyes tired-looking. Yoh was a friend to him too, Ren remembered belatedly. Surely that would mean he'd want to help him?

"What is it, Ren?" Silva asked politely, but unenthusiastically.

"We need to see Yoh." Ren replied, startling both Silva and Faust.

"Yoh? But Yoh is-"

"I know, I was there. I need to see him, or his statue if that's what you prefer." Ren pressed. Silva's brow furrowed.

"Why?" Ren sighed and decided that he could take a chance in trusting Silva. He explained what Hao had told them and wanting to do something to prove what he was saying.

"You really think he was telling the truth?" Silva asked, looking troubled. "This is Hao we're talking about."

"You didn't see him." Ren replied. "It's like he's been... broken. And I doubt that Hao would play-act at being so weak, he has too much dignity."

"True..." Silva said doubtfully. He pulled at his lip thoughtfully. "Alright, I'll take you through, but you can't stay there for very long." Ren and Faust agreed and followed Silva.

When they got to where the statue of Yoh still stood Ren stood in front of him for a second, hesitating. Amidamaru watched him closely, still standing guard by his partner's body. He then slowly reached out a hand and put it on the stone chest of his friend. He shivered; despite the heat of the day the stone was freezing. He closed his eyes and concentrating, hoping, waiting.

There! Very faint, very weak he could feel Yoh's presence deep within the stone. "Faust, tell me if you feel this?" He said eagerly. Faust put his hand on the stone and closed his eyes. After a moment they shot open again and a faint flush sprang up upon his pale face.

"I feel him!" He said excitedly, showing more emotion than Ren had ever seen in him. Silva curiously did so too and agreed that he could feel Yoh inside. "What do we do now then?" Silva wondered.

"First we tell the others." Ren said. "Perhaps they have ideas, but I doubt it."

"It's unfortunate that Yoh's family decided not to stay." Faust said as they headed back to their house.

"Perhaps." Ren said. Yohmei Asakura, the patriarch of the family, struck him as someone who would not help his grandson in this situation, simply because it was Hao who brought it to their attention. He predicted the others weren't going to be very happy about it either.

After telling his tale, he had to grimly congratulate himself on being right. For the last five minutes it had simply been accusations that he'd been 'fraternizing with the enemy' and allowing him to get in his head. At least Lyserg had been gone; he knew he didn't want to have to deal with that particular headache.

"So where is Yoh then?" He asked harshly, cutting through the hubbub. Silence fell.

"Well of course he passed on." Anna snarled.

"Then you should be able to call him back, shouldn't you?" Ren challenged. "Try it, call him." Anna gave him a poisonous look, but unravelled her beads and attempted to call Yoh back from the other side. After five minutes, she gave up, looking a little upset.

"He could... he could just not want to come." Horohoro suggested in a small voice. Ren snorted derisively.

"You really think he'd ignore a call from Anna?" Everyone kind of grinned nervously at that.

"But, if Hao is right, then... what do we do?" Manta asked quietly. Everyone just looked at each other. Ren growled to himself, cursing the fact that he seemed to be the only one with some amount of intelligence in this group.

"I have a couple of ideas, but we're going to need to talk to Hao again." He said with authority.

"I'm coming with you." Horohoro stated. Ryu and Manta nodded. Anna just folded her arms and glared at them.

"I'm not even going to say how stupid it is that you're taking Hao's word and considering doing anything that he might suggest." She snapped.

"If it can save Yoh's life, I don't care where the help comes from, and if you truly care about him, neither should you." Ren snapped back. He stalked out of the room without giving her a chance to argue.

"Dude, she has a point." Horohoro said, catching up to him. "This is Hao we're talking about."

"Yes, because I'm not aware of that, idiot." Ren said sarcastically. "Just wait until you'll see him, then maybe you'll understand."

Hao was asleep when they got there, looking small and vulnerable in the hospital bed. Ren poked him and then, getting no reaction, shook him carefully. After a moment Hao's eyes slowly opened, revealing glazed black orbs. It seemed they hadn't eased off on the sedatives.

"Whazzat?" Hao asked in a thick, confused voice.

"Hao, we need to talk about Yoh." Hao blinked slowly, struggling to focus on him. "We don't have any idea of how to get his body back to normal, but you said we don't have much time before he fades completely, right?" Hao nodded his head. "Is there some way we can remove his soul from that stone and put it in say, a memorial tablet until we can figure out how?"

Hao frowned, clearly fighting to keep his thoughts in order. "No, even if you could get... his soul to stay, because since he's not actually dead his soul will be drawn back to his body... imprisonment in another in... inanimate object will only make him fade."

"What about something living then?" Ren asked as Hao frowned up at him in drugged puzzlement. He really hoped Hao was understanding what he was saying. "What if one of us were to allow him to possess us, like we do with our guardian spirit? Would that work?"

"Maybe... for a little while, but it... it would drain your energy and eventually your furyiochu will be gone and the possession would fail and Yoh would be drawn back to his body." Hao paused, breathing hard and frowning as the drugs threatened to break his thoughts apart again. "Not to mention it can't be... can't be maintained while you sleep." Hao finished tiredly, slumping back against his pillow.

"We could take shifts, allowing him to possess each of us in turn." Horohoro suggested.

"May...maybe, but...transferring him would be tricky, and all it would... all it would take would be one slip," Hao stopped, shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth and then opening them again. "One slip and he's back in that stone."

"You're not making this very easy." Ryu accused.

"I wish with all my heart that I could." Hao replied dismally, shutting his eyes. Ren cursed lowly and then thought of something else.

"What about when you absorbed Yoh?" Hao flinched at the mention of it. "How did you do that without Yoh's soul returning to his body? Was it possession?"

"No..." Hao paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "Yoh's bond with me is unique, it's... hard to explain but I'll try. Twins naturally have a bond to each other, and in us two... in us two it was... enhanced. When I took Yoh's soul I used this bond to sort of... link us together."

"Could you do it again?" Ren asked quickly. "Without the soul absorbing part of course."

"Are you mental?" Manta squeaked. Hao shut his eyes and his brow furrowed in concentration.

"I think... yes. I could. The ability to absorb was broken... when Yoh fought free of me. Because the bond...the bond is essentially a stronger twin-bond, I can still use that. As long as Yoh doesn't actively try to break free of it, I can keep his soul in me." Hao said slowly, with a great effort. "But I cannot... cannot absorb him again... even if I tried. Once it's failed... Yoh established that he's not... not me... and it won't work."

"How do you know that?" Horohoro demanded. Hao blinked up at him owlishly.

"I just... do." He replied, sounding a little puzzled.

"Would you do it?" Ren asked quietly. Hao stared at him as intently as he could in his drug-addled state.

"Why would he do it?" Ryu asked. Hao looked down, away from all of their stares

"In a thousand years," Hao started slowly. "Yoh was the only one who tried to save my soul instead of damning it." He lifted his head and his eyes were brimming with tears. "I would do anything to save him in return."

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Star: I own nothing!


	8. Chapter 8

Star: I own nothing!

"Well?" Horohoro asked as they left the clinic. "What do we do now?"

"We're going to have to get the Patch involved." Ren stated. "We won't be able to do this without their help."

"Do you think they'll agree to help?" Ryu asked. "They seemed pretty adamant about putting Hao on trial."

"They also owe Yoh, so I think they are obligated to help us." Ren hissed in reply. He spotted Kalim walking along and called to him. "We need to talk to Goldva. It's about Yoh."

"Yoh?" Kalim said, his craggy face looking surprised. "But Yoh is-"

"I know what you think he is, but I know you're wrong, and it is essential that we talk to Goldva, now." Ren snapped. Kalim stared at him for a moment, assessing him. Finally he nodded.

"I'll take you to her, but I hope you're not wasting her time." Kalim warned. Ren nodded tersely and they followed along after Kalim, into the network of caves that separated the village from the Patch's residences and the Great Spirit. Goldva was staring out at the Great Spirit ponderously.

"Goldva, you have visitors." Kalim said respectfully. The old woman turned and regarded Ren and the others calmly.

"Well?" She asked. Ren went ahead and explained everything, from Yoh's current predicament, to the solution that they proposed and even what Yoh had done to Hao. Goldva watched them carefully in silence for a moment when he was done. "And you believe this?" She asked.

Ren bristled at the subtle accusation. "We were closest to Yoh, we are the last people who would listen to Hao unless there was a good reason." He said tightly.

"Hmm, true. And you in particular are of a very stubborn mind." Goldva conceded. "Still, I feel I must judge this for myself. Take me to him, and we'll see."

%&%&%&%

Someone was shaking his shoulder and telling him to wake up. He slowly rose up through the murk of his consciousness and opened his eyes. He was surrounded by people again. It seemed to be becoming of habit of his, but he was surprised, once his mind caught up with him, to see that Goldva was leaning over him.

"Whu?" His tongue felt dry and thick. He swallowed slightly, wishing for water. It took him a moment to realize Goldva was talking to him. "Sorry… I didn't hear you… drugs making me slow." He explained carefully. Goldva looked mildly surprised at that.

"How do you know that Yoh is not dead?" Goldva repeated.

"He calls… calls to me… getting weaker each time." Hao said, frowning in concentration. "Hard to say… how I know they're not… not just dreams.. but I do."

"And we confirmed that Yoh's soul is still in his body." Faust added. "Silva can vouch for that as well."

"And why do you want to help?" Goldva asked Hao.

"Yoh chose not to kill me… he thought… he thought I was worth it… worth dying for… I can't…" He paused, licking his lips. "He cared enough to try and… try and save me… from myself. I want the chance… to save him too." Goldva's eyes didn't leave his face as he spoke, as though trying to stare into his soul. Hao could only take the accusing stare for a couple minutes before he looked away in shame.

"If we allow you to do this, it would only postpone your trial until some solution can be found." Goldva told him.

"I… understand." Hao said quietly. He hadn't even expected Goldva to believe him. He didn't care, as long as he was able to help Yoh, he would be able to die with some small amount of happiness. At least, that was the reasoning his scrambled mind could come up with.

"And that collar will have to stay on." Goldva continued, referring to the collar keeping him from using his powers. "Unless you need it off for what you plan?"

"No… it's a… a deeper magic." Hao explained. "A sort of… twin magic."

"And how soon must this be done?"

"He's fading as we speak… I… I can barely hear him anymore." Hao told her. Goldva closed her eyes and thought for a moment.

"Alright. Kalim, this needs to be kept as secret as possible. Inform the doctors we're taking Hao, try to imply that he's passed away. Try to spread that news a little, no one else must know he's still alive and that this is happening, it will likely cause a riot." Goldva ordered. "Get Silva here as well." Kalim nodded and ran off. "Once the news is announced that Hao is dead, you all have to leave, with him." She said, gesturing at Hao. Hao stared at her in shock. "There are some of my own people who would not hesitate to kill you if they knew what was going on." She explained. Hao blinked slowly, struggling to process the large amount of information.

Silva jogged in not a moment later. "Goldva?"

"We're doing something very odd, but we need your help." Goldva explained the plan. Silva seemed shocked and worried, but did not argue. "Doctor Faust, can you help Hao to remove his IVs?"

"Of course." Faust said and moved to Hao's side. Hao dazedly allowed him to remove the restraints and take out the IVs. "Can you stand?" Hao sat up, feeling a little dizzy.

"I… don't know." He said. He put his feet on the ground and shakily stood up. Movement made his chest hurt, but he ignored it and wobbled forward a couple steps.

"Damn the drugs." Goldva growled. "Silva, will you carry him?" Hao didn't protest as he was scooped up and cradled in a set of strong arms. He wanted to sleep, but he forced himself to stay awake as they walked out the back way of the clinic and headed for the Great Spirit.

Hao felt a growing sense of dread as they marched on. His slow mind managed to conjure up questions. What if it didn't work? What if they decided he was lying? What if it was already too late? He didn't want to think of that, especially the last question. Yoh would be alright, he would make sure of it.

He dazedly wondered why Goldva had believed him. Maybe she thought it was safe so long as he couldn't use his powers and was kept an eye on. He understood the reasoning of making everyone else believe he was dead and getting him as far away as possible, he had to think long and hard about it in his drugged state, but he did understand.

He didn't look at anyone, focusing instead on the landscape and in time, the Great Spirit itself. He could feel its silent, immense regard on him and felt ashamed of himself for what he'd tried to do, the level of madness to which he had descended. It all seemed so stupid now, thinking about it even with his head full of fog, everything that he'd wanted.

Finally they stopped and Silva set his down on the ground, the stone ground warm against his bare feet. In front of him was the statue of Yoh, waiting. Hao gulped and shakily stepped forward, heart hammering in his chest. He reached out a hand that trembled just the slightest bit and placed it on Yoh's chest.

He felt within his mind a brief flare of consciousness within the stone, cold and weak. **'I'm here, Yoh.'** He said silently to his brother. **'I've come to help you.' **He got no answer in reply; Yoh was far too weak now.

He concentrated, and for a moment he thought it wasn't going to work, but then his hand sank into Yoh's chest. It took an effort, far more effort than the first time, which Hao immediately blocked from his mind. After a moment he felt it, the center of consciousness, Yoh's soul. Carefully he gripped it and began to pull.

In his mind he felt a weak sense of pain from his brother, but gritted his teeth and kept going. The sense of pain cleared some of the cobwebs in his head. He pulled Yoh's soul out, heart dropping at how cold and insubstantial he was. Instead of swallowing him like he had before he wrapped both arms around Yoh's soul in a sort of embrace, letting it seep into him. He felt, very quietly, a small sigh of relief.

He stepped back a little, feeling cold settle through his body as he linked Yoh's soul to his, keeping him anchored. Yoh was so freezing cold, it was nearly unbearable. Hao began to shiver uncontrollably and sank to his knees, feeling exhausted.

"Hao?" Ren asked, sounding worried. "Did it work?" Hao nodded his head. "Is he alright?"

"He's weak… like he's in a deep coma…" Hao said through chattering teeth. "So cold…" He whispered.

"We'll bring him into the caves until you leave." He heard Goldva's voice say somewhere above him. "Silva."

Hao didn't protest as he was lifted up again and carried. Within mere moments darkness welled up and swallowed him whole.

'**Yoh?' He whispered, touching the cold shape that was his brother. 'I promise, you're going to be alright.' **

**Yoh gave no answer, and Hao could sense that he was deeply unconscious, it would be awhile before he awoke again. So, he simply curled himself around Yoh, trying to warm up his brother. **

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	9. Chapter 9

Star: I own nothing!

Silva had never noticed before just how small Hao was. He knew that he was only the same height as Yoh, but he'd always had this massive presence that made him seem bigger. Now, cradled in his arms, unconscious, he seemed tiny, and frail.

He stared down at his sleeping face. Pale purple eyelids twitched slightly as the eyes beneath moved restlessly in their sockets. His skin was pale, and his hair was matted and oily. When Silva had carried him to the Great Spirit, he had been slightly clammy, but now he was downright freezing cold, and shivered uncontrollably.

Goldva led the way through the maze of caves that was part of the Patch's private part of the village after telling Yoh's friends to go off, and to discretely start spreading rumours of Hao's death. There were a series of rooms within the caves, meant as guest rooms, in a way. Silva placed Hao in one of them.

It wasn't much. There was a bed and another door leading into a private bathroom with a shower. Silva carefully placed Hao in the bed and then piled all of the sheets and blankets and quilts in the room over him. They seemed to have no effect, and Hao continued to shiver. Silva watched for a moment and then shrugged; it wasn't a usual sort of chill.

He stepped out and closed the door, which Goldva locked. "It's not because I worry about him trying to get away." She said at his questioning look. "But if he wakes up and wanders around, he might encounter someone who thinks he's dead, and they might talk." Silva nodded and the two of them left Hao to his rest.

%&%&%&%

Hao stretched and yawned, feeling more aware than he had in days. His eyes popped open as he realized he wasn't tied down for once. He sat up slowly, looking around dazedly as he shivered. He appeared to be in a room that looked as though it were carved out of stone. There was no window, but a small sprite lent its light to the room.

Hao stood up, taking the top quilt that was covering him with him. It didn't do anything to banish the bone-chilling cold he felt, but he could pretend. He shuffled to the door and tried it. Locked. Well, they wouldn't want him wandering off, not when he had Yoh's soul tucked away inside his body. That reminded him...

That reminded him...

'**Yoh?'** He asked silently. He got no answer. He hadn't expected one, Yoh was very weak. He inhaled deeply and winced, his broken ribs protesting lightly. He rubbed at his chest, shuddering slightly at the feel of the stitches in his skin. He turned around and noticed a small bundle of clean clothes on the floor that he'd previously overlooked.

Another doorway, this one open, beckoned. He could see the edge of a toilet inside. He stooped and picked up the clothes, the quilt still wrapped around him, and tottered to the bathroom. The sprite followed and lit the interior. He nodded at it politely, but distractedly.

He dropped the clothes on the floor and undressed himself, stepping into the shower and turning the water up as hot as it could manage. The scalding spray chased away the chill a little bit and he stood under it long after he was done getting himself clean, just allowing the warm water to banish some of the cold. Slowly the hot water ran out though and reluctantly turned off the water and got out.

He stood naked, staring at the train wreck that was his own reflection. Huge dark circles ringed tired, dull dark eyes. His normally tanned complexion was pale and had a faint ashen tinge to it, giving him a sickly look. A straight line of ugly black stitches ran from his collarbone to his navel, and purple-blue bruises walled them. Another set of bruises ringed his wrists, a reminder of the restraints. His hipbones jutted slightly as a result of the weight lost during his stay in the clinic.

He didn't look like Hao Asakura, the most powerful shaman in existence. He was kind of glad of that actually, he didn't feel like that person after all anyways, and having to look that person in the eyes everyday would be painful. He slowly brushed out his long hair, still contemplating his reflection.

He sighed and put down the brush, wincing as he struggled into the clean clothes left for him. It was a soft white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. They weren't his first choice for clothes, but he didn't have the energy or the drive to be picky. Besides, they were soft and cozy.

Hao tottered back out of the bathroom and flopped onto the bed, hissing in pain as he did so. He pulled the blankets around him and curled up into a ball. He was so tired still, and all he wanted to do was sleep; at least then his thoughts would leave him alone for awhile.

The lock on the door clicked as he lay there and he sat up with a quiet groan, keeping the quilt around his shaking shoulders. Silva peered in and smiled slightly at the sight of him sitting up. "Finally decided to wake up, huh?" He said.

"What?" Hao asked, feeling confused.

"You've been asleep for almost a whole day." Silva explained.

"Oh." Hao said. How come he was still tired then? It probably had to do with Yoh, or the depression that weighed him down like rocks. Silva stepped fully into the room, revealing a tray with soup and a glass of milk.

"You should eat." He said at Hao's blank look. Hao slid off the bed onto the floor, keeping the blanket still tightly wrapped around him. He stared at the soup disinterestedly and then half-heartedly began to eat. He didn't have much of an appetite, and the thought of eating actually made him feel slightly nauseous, but he couldn't die of starvation now, Yoh was counting on him.

"Yoh?" Silva asked hopefully, sitting down cross-legged. Hao shook his head slowly.

"He's there, he's not fading, he's just... it's like he's in a coma, regaining his energy." Hao explained. "He'll probably be like this for awhile."

"I see." Silva said, sounding disappointed. "We've already announced your 'death'." Hao blinked at him. "The X-Laws weren't too happy about it."

"Of course not, they wanted to torture me until I begged for death." Hao replied, grimacing slightly. Funny how he thought now that he wouldn't put up a struggle if they did try to capture him and torture him; didn't he deserve several lifetimes of pain anyways?

"Yes, well, they left after being shown your body." Silva grinned at Hao's questioning look. "Some Old Man Coyote trickery." He said, but nothing more. Hao understood though, he had been a Patch at one point after all. "They left pretty quick after that, and most other people are making plans to get going too."

"Who knows I'm not dead?" Hao asked, poking at his soup listlessly.

"Well, me of course. Goldva and Kalim, Ren, Horohoro, Manta, Ryu, Faust and Anna." Silva paused. "Apparently Anna didn't take Ren's initiative in helping Yoh very well."

"Why?" Hao asked. "I mean, she doesn't want Yoh just to cease existing, does she?"

"I think it's more the fact that Ren decided that having you help with it that's making her angry." Silva said. "I think you're going to have a rough time with her."

"I wouldn't expect anything else." Hao replied wearily. "How long am I going to be staying here?"

"I believe they plan to leave tomorrow. They felt that leaving immediately after the news of your 'death' might have looked suspicious." Silva explained. Hao silently played with his food, thinking.

"They didn't tell Lyserg?" He finally asked, feeling a stab of pain in his heart at the thought of the young Englishman. He'd done to Lyserg what had been done to him so long ago; he really was no better than those humans he thought were monsters.

"They felt that telling Lyserg would be like... oh, poking a sleeping dragon?" Silva said. "He's gone back to London I'm told, didn't stick around."

The gentle tone of Silva's voice bothered Hao a little bit. He didn't know exactly why, but part of it was the feeling that he shouldn't be acting so nice towards him, even if he was helping them keep Yoh alive. As long as he was kept healthy, it didn't matter what they did to him, so why was Silva acting so kindly towards him.

"You don't have to act so nice towards me, you know." He said in a dismal voice. "I'm sure you feel you should at least be a little grateful to me for helping Yoh, but I really don't believe I deserve that. I'm doing it because I don't want Yoh to die, I'm no hero."

Silva gazed at him for a second and Hao looked away, allowing his long hair to fall over his face, hiding it. "I don't think you realize just how changed you are." Silva said quietly. "Goldva was wondering if your behaviour was largely due to the sedatives, but... seeing you now I can say for certain that it was not."

"The sedatives just made me slow, they didn't change how I felt." Hao mumbled.

"Indeed. Which is why we are a little... kinder to you than you expect us to be. Perhaps because you expect us, and seem to want us to be angry, we cannot be terribly angry." Silva shook his head slightly. "You're not the same man anymore."

Hao wearily pushed the soup away from him. It was only half gone but he had no appetite. He pulled himself back onto the bed and curled up, wrapping the blankets around himself. He heard a clink as Silva picked up his dishes. Hao closed his eyes, hearing the lock click shut and then allowed the tears to seep from beneath his eyelids. He silently cried himself to sleep.

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Star: Review plz!


	10. Chapter 10

Star: I own nothing!

Ren led the group that was going to pick up Hao from the Patch. He'd arranged for one of his family's planes to take them to Tokyo and they were leaving soon. The rest trailed after in various states of worry and hope. Would Yoh be awake? Or would Hao have deceived them.

"I still can't believe you." Anna grumbled for the thousandth time. Ren couldn't suppress an eye roll. "Trusting that monster with Yoh, you're either mad or just plain stupid."

"And what would you have us do, Anna?" Ren demanded coolly. "Yoh would have been gone without Hao's assistance, did you really want that?" She glared at him. "It seems to me that if you truly cared about Yoh you would be willing to try anything to get him back, even if it was dangerous."

"I do care about Yoh." Anna growled. "But you can't trust Hao."

Ren shook his head but didn't argue with her anymore, there was no point. When Anna had an idea in her head, there was no persuading her out of it. At least, they couldn't. Yoh sometimes had some success in changing Anna's mind, but Yoh wasn't here right now. He would be soon, Ren told himself fiercely.

Kalim met them at the entrance of the caves and led them through the warren of tunnels. "You locked him in?" Horohoro asked as Kalim unlocked the door to Hao's room.

"Keeps him safe." Kalim explained. "Don't need someone finding him and killing him now, do we?" Horohoro shook his head. They all stepped inside. Hao was curled up under a massive pile of blankets, but he still shivered with cold.

Ren walked over and shook Hao. He watched blurry chocolate eyes blink open slowly and focus on him. Hao slowly sat up, all the blankets but one slipping off his shoulders. He looked as though he'd rather still be sleeping.

"You!" Anna barked and then moved forward before anyone could stop her. A loud SLAP rang out and the force of Anna's hand made Hao's head snap back. He lowered his head to the side, exposing the red and quickly bruising cheek. He didn't make any move to retaliate. "This is your fault." Anna snarled. "If it wasn't for you, Yoh wouldn't be in this situation. If anything happens to him, I'll have your head."

Hao didn't answer, he didn't look at them, but he slowly nodded his head after a moment. "Enough, Anna." Ren said, pushing her away. "Leave him alone." Hao raised his eyes briefly and then looked down at his lap.

"I would like to give him a check-up before we leave if we have the time?" Faust said. Ren nodded and stepped aside. "Can you take off your shirt for me, Hao?" Hao complied, pulling the white t-shirt off and staring back down at his lap again. He did everything Faust asked him to and seemed quiet and docile.

"Yoh?" Ren asked as Faust finished. Hao shook his head slightly. "But he's alright, yes?" Hao nodded. Anna snorted derisively.

"Of course we'd never know if he were telling the truth or not." She snapped. "This whole thing stinks. We'll find out soon enough that he set us all up."

Except Hao wouldn't act so broken, so weak, even to save his own skin, Ren thought to himself. He had too much pride for that. None of the others seemed to see that though. They watched Hao with barely veiled suspicion. Don't they get it? This isn't Hao anymore, not as they had known him anyways. Aloud he said

"It's time to go." Ren tossed a pair of old running shoes at Hao's feet. They were a pair of Yoh's, and the hesitancy Hao displayed in putting them on suggested he knew that. He fumbled with the laces a little and then stood up, swaying slightly. "Alright, let's go." Ren ordered.

He and the others created a sort of phalanx around Hao. They were protecting Yoh, not Hao, or rather the hope that Yoh really was there. Ren walked beside Hao, watching him. Hao's eyes flicked to him for a moment.

"I thought of reminding Anna that if it wasn't for me Yoh wouldn't exist, but she probably would have slapped me again." If it wasn't for the dullness in Hao's very quiet voice, Ren might have thought he was making a joke.

"You're probably right about that." Ren murmured in reply. "Has there been any change at all?" He asked hopefully.

"No, his energy was almost completely drained away, it will take awhile for him to recover." Hao replied wearily.

"Is that why you're so tired?" Ren asked. Hao lifted his head slightly and gave Ren a faintly bemused look.

"I actually hadn't considered that." He admitted. "Shows you how numb I feel, huh?" He gave a humourless chuckle. The hopeless sound worried Ren a little bit, but he knew that Hao wouldn't do anything that might mean that Yoh would start to fade again. He didn't know how he knew it, but he did.

"Are we doing the right thing, taking Yoh's soul so far from his body?" He asked. He received a one-armed shrug in reply.

"I don't think it will matter." Hao said after thinking for a moment. "And being surrounded by familiar things at his home may help him recover."

"That's true." Ren conceded. "He'll probably be less disoriented." Hao nodded in agreement. "Would he be able to take control of your body once he's strong enough again?"

"Most likely." Hao said. Ren thought that this would be a good thing if they couldn't find a way to turn Yoh's body back to normal, though once Hao died at the end of his life... No, don't think about it. They would find a way to get Yoh back to normal. He would make sure of it.

Almost as soon as Hao was buckled in and the plane had levelled off he was asleep again. The others had sort of given him a wide berth, so he was alone in the middle of the plane. He seemed rather small, slightly curled up with his head down. He hadn't even unbuckled himself before nodding off.

"Look at him, it's like he doesn't even care." Ryu said, nodding towards Hao.

"He's tired, that's all." Ren said impatiently. "He does care, otherwise he would have just left Yoh to fade away completely."

"But this way he stays alive." Horohoro reminded Ren. Ren snorted in contempt.

"You really think dying fazes him?" Ren demanded. "Even if we were talking about Hao as he was, death would have annoyed him, but he can reincarnate himself again."

"True." Manta said. "What do you mean, Hao as he was?"

"If you don't see it, I can't explain it to you." Ren huffed, crossing his arms. "I'm surprised you're all so suspicious of him still. You saw him cry." The others began to look uncomfortable. They'd been listening to Anna too much, Ren thought resignedly.

"It could be a trick, you never know with Hao." Horohoro muttered defensively. Ren looked again at Hao and noticed that Amidamaru was floating over him in spirit ball form, looking anxious and conflicted. Ren got up and walked over, sliding into the seat beside Hao.

"What's up with you?" He asked the samurai spirit.

"I'm not sure how to feel about all this." Amidamaru admitted, shaking his head. "At first I was angry that you'd allowed this, but I've been watching over him, unseen since then and he..."

"He's not himself anymore." Ren supplied.

"Yes, exactly." Amidamaru agreed. "He doesn't act like the man we feared, not even when he's certain he's alone. In fact, it's when he's alone that he seems the most fragile, the most broken."

"Yes, that would be when he has only his own thoughts to listen to, and I can't imagine they're very cheerful thoughts at the moment." Ren murmured. He looked at Hao and thought that maybe his shivers had eased a little bit, but it was probably just wishful thinking on his part. "What are you going to do?"

Amidamaru was silent for a moment. "Yoh's in there." He said thoughtfully. "And if Hao dies, Yoh will just stop existing. I will do my best to protect them both."

There, that made two allies for Ren who saw Hao as a person and not just the vessel for Yoh's soul. It was important that he had others who felt that way, because he was sure that the others would probably mistreat Hao if there was no one to defend him. Hao certainly wasn't going to defend himself; he wanted to be punished.

Ren shook his head at how complicated things had gotten. He massaged at his temples and decided Hao had the right idea and tried to take a nap.

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Star: Review plz!


	11. Chapter 11

Star: I own nothing!

**He ran through the forest, clutching a couple of flowers in his tiny fist. He happily over a little stream, laughing a childish laugh of delight. His mother would love the flowers he brought her. He emerged from the woods and his smile died.**

**Their house was on fire! He ran towards it, dropping the flowers in the grass. '**_**Kaa-san!' **_**He screamed, looking around wildly. His mother was nowhere to be found. She must still be inside! He ran towards the flames but the heat drove him back and he wailed in terror and anguish...**

**...He stood atop his Spirit of Fire, watching his brother come at him in yet another attack. It was the attack that wounded him, but something was different. **_**'No, stop!'**_** He tried to scream, but the Spirit of Fire's claws sliced down, ripping through his brother's body...**

Hao gasped, sitting up quickly and panting wildly. "Are you okay?" A voice beside him asked. He looked and jumped a little at Amidamaru's face peering at him. Blinking to clear his vision he saw that everyone on the plane was staring at him. "You were screaming."

"Nightmare." Hao answered, struggling to catch his breath.

"Bet that's new for you." Horohoro said shortly.

"No." Hao replied. "I've had nightmares for ages, I just don't normally start screaming."

"And what kind of nightmares would Hao Asakura have?" Anna said in an acidic tone. "Losing to someone? Well, that one came true."

"My mother." Hao admitted, but said nothing more. It seemed to shut up Anna at least. He sat back, closing his eyes and sighing softly. He still shivered, but someone had put a blanket around him to try and warm him up.

He felt eyes still watching him and turned his head slowly to meet Amidamaru's eyes. He tried to look away but he couldn't, the fierce black eyes holding him. Slowly Amidamaru bowed his head, eyes still locked on Hao. Hao shook his head.

"Don't do that." He whispered. "I'm not your partner, I'm not even your friend."

"You agreed to save Yoh." Amidamaru pointed out in a quiet voice.

"I could have done so just to save my own skin." Hao argued listlessly. Amidamaru gazed at him silently for a long moment.

"I watched you cry yourself to sleep." He said in a voice barely audible. Hao stared at him a moment.

"Oh." He said in a small voice.

"I won't say anything." Amidamaru assured him. Hao shrugged.

"I wouldn't care if you did." He admitted dully.

"And that is why I don't believe you're trying to pull the wool over our eyes." Amidamaru stated firmly. "And as for your statement that you are not my partner, you have Yoh's soul in you, and he is my partner, therefore, if I am to continue to protect Yoh then I have to protect you as well, and for now that makes you my partner."

A disbelieving giggle tried to force its way up his throat, but he squashed it down. If he started laughing, he probably would start crying. HeHeHe didn't care that someone would see him cry, but he already felt so drained, he didn't think crying would help. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head.

"Hopefully we won't run into any trouble." Amidamaru sighed. "They'll all defend you, but they'll really be defending Yoh. I don't know how hard they'll fight if it comes down to one of them dying, or you dying. Ren and Faust excluded, of course."

"Of course." Hao repeated wearily, absentmindedly scratching at the collar that prevented him from using his powers. He began to think that it would be better if he had them, but the thought of the Spirit of Fire and what he'd done using it made him shudder.

A ding made him look up. A light above their heads told them to buckle their seatbelts. Hao looked and realized he'd never taken his off. He leaned back, wincing as they hit a pocket of turbulence going down. His ribs ached dully and he stared out the window into driving rain.

He stood up when the plane came to a stop and Ren handed him a rain coat silently. Hao shrugged it on, pulling the hood over his head. He shouldn't have bothered. The lashing rain got in everywhere, soaking them all to the bone. Hao didn't feel the cold, being already freezing from Yoh's soul, but the wet bothered him a little bit.

A couple of rental cars waited for them. Hao found himself sandwiched in with Faust and Ren; no one else wanted to have to ride with him. The air conditioning in the car raised painful goosebumps on his wet skin and he sneezed, holding his aching ribs as he did so.

"Take this." Faust said, offering Hao a small pill. "It's Percocet." He explained when Hao gave it a faintly dubious look. Hao took it and dry-swallowed, grimacing at the feeling. The pain subsided after a couple minutes and he began to feel drowsy and a little nauseous. "We'll be there soon." Faust said. "And then you can rest."

Hao nodded vaguely, staring out into the dreary rain-soaked city. He preferred the open and clean air of the countryside to the claustrophobic closeness of the city, but beggars can't be choosers. Besides, this was Yoh's home, the place he loved. Maybe he could learn to love it too.

When they got to the inn Hao spared a moment to look around before he was ushered upstairs and into a large bedroom. Anna was yelling downstairs. "Go to sleep." Ren told him. "I'll deal with her." Hao nodded and Ren closed the door.

Hao looked around for the first time and his heart lurched. Faded Bob posters on the wall, a small bookshelf stuffed with books and a record player; it was Yoh's room as clear as anything. Hao's knees trembled, but he resisted the urge to collapse to the ground. He walked shakily over to the dresser, shedding his wet clothes.

He pulled out a t-shirt, a pair of boxers and a pair of sweatpants. He held the clothes to his nose and inhaled deeply, the soft scent of laundry detergent calming him a little. He dried off and slipped into Yoh's clothes, feeling a shiver go up his spine at the closeness he felt with his twin, wearing his clothes and standing in his room.

He settled down on the futon, burying himself in the blankets and pressing his face into the pillow. Yoh's presence was everywhere in her, and Hao imagined that he would be able to even smell him if his nose was good enough. For the second time in as many days he cried himself to sleep.

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Star: Review plz!


	12. Chapter 12

Star: I own nothing!

Hao jerked awake at a smack on his shoulder. He rolled over slowly and stared up into Anna's glaring face. "You are not going to loaf around while you're here." She growled. "Get up, you have work to do."

A couple weeks ago Hao would have laughed in her face, but now he just got to his feet with a sigh. Anna continued to glare up at him and handed him a piece of paper. Hao took it and looked at the long list of chores.

"Don't even think of slacking off." She snapped. "If you do, there will be hell to pay." With that threat she spun on her heel and stomped out of the room. Hao looked at the list again and his shoulders slumped. There was so much to do, and he was still so tired. He didn't want to give the impression that he wasn't cooperative though; she might lock him up somehow if he did so. Maybe he shouldn't have cared, it was more than he deserved, but he didn't want to be alone, being alone hurt more.

"Looks like all the chores Yoh used to do, and then some." Amidamaru remarked. "I'm not sure you have the energy for all that."

"Like I have a choice in the matter." Hao responded tonelessly. He looked at the list once more and then shoved it in a pocket of his sweatpants. _Yoh's sweatpants._ He corrected himself, remembering now whose clothes and whose room he stood in. His already low mood sank further. He was trespassing, he didn't belong here, he didn't deserve to be here. He didn't deserve the kindness of those who he'd hurt.

He walked out of the room, trying to leave his dark thoughts behind. He slowly worked through doing the dishes, dusting all the rooms, cleaning the floors and cleaning the kitchen, having to take frequent breaks to catch his breath. Pain throbbed in his chest, but he tried his best to ignore it.

No one else seemed to be home but Anna. Amidamaru explained that they'd all gone to run various errands, like grocery shopping, and in Faust's case, applying at the local hospital for a job. Whenever he had to be in the same room as Anna, who was watching TV, he could feel her glare boring holes into the back of his head.

His next tasks took him outside, where the cold rain of the other day had given way to a hazy heat that made Hao sweat almost as soon as he stepped out, though he did not feel the heat at all, still chilled to the bone. He wiped his brow absentmindedly and got to work.

%&%&%&%

Ren stepped into the cooler air of the house and sighed in relief. He and Horohoro put all the groceries and other odds and ends away quickly. Ren noticed that the dishes from breakfast had been put away, and the counters and stove were clean. The whole kitchen smelled of lemon cleaner in fact. He frowned; had any of the others got back before them?

Anna of course was sitting on her behind, parked in front of the television. Ren didn't understand the draw of the soap operas she watched, they were all so ridiculously unrealistic, but he supposed it was some female thing. He resented the fact that she bullied them all into doing all the work while she sat there though.

He trudged upstairs to check on Hao. When he got to Yoh's room he found it empty. He forced down the panic that rose in his throat; there were plenty of places Hao could be on the property, he was probably just somewhere else. Thinking quickly Ren decided to try the backyard first, remembering Hao's affinity for the natural world.

He stopped dead as he stepped outside, staring in disbelief. Hao was on his hands and knees, pulling weeds out of the flowerbed. The wet t-shirt he was wearing was drenched in sweat and more beads of sweat rolled down his face. Oddly enough, he was still shivering.

"What the devil are you doing?" Ren demanded, storming over. Hao's head jerked up and he stared at Ren, looking a little bit out of it. Ren ground his teeth, heat stroke was not what Hao needed. He grabbed Hao by the arm and hauled him over to the porch. It was laughably easy, Hao had lost quite a bit of weight.

"I have to." Hao protested tonelessly. "Anna gave me a list." He produced a grubby piece of paper from inside his, or Yoh's, sweatpants. Ren snatched it away and looked at it. Anger boiled up inside him.

"I didn't bring you all the way here so she could work you to death!" He snarled, shredding up the paper. "It's too damn hot for this, and she knows it." He glared at Hao sitting meekly on the porch, his dark eyes staring at the ground. "How long have you been working?" He asked. Hao shrugged his shoulders.

"Awhile." He replied vaguely.

"Did you even stop for lunch?" Ren demanded. Hao gave him a puzzled look and then looked up at the sky. The sun was a little past its zenith.

"Oh." He said simply.

"Oh?" Ren repeated, feeling angrier. "Didn't you think to stop when you got hungry?" Hao blinked at him.

"I wasn't hungry." He stated dully. Ren sensed that Hao was being honest. He cursed softly; he and Faust would have to make sure Hao remembered to eat, it appeared.

"Listen up." He barked. "You are going to go inside, have a cool shower to cool your body down, I know you're already freezing." Ren said, interrupting Hao before he could speak. "Then you're going to lie down. Once Faust is home I'll get him to give you a checking over." Hao opened his mouth to speak again but Ren held up a hand. "I'll deal with Anna."

Hao slowly nodded and stood up, wobbling slightly. Ren followed him inside, waiting for the shriek. "What are you doing? You're not done yet!" Yep, right on time. Hao flinched, but Ren shoved him towards the stairs and stepped into Anna's path.

"He is done." He told her firmly. "He's going to rest now, and no one is going to disturb him."

"He has work to do." Anna ground out.

"And you are going to work him to death." Ren growled back. "He's still recovering from injuries and he's exhausted. Not to mention it's far too hot for him to be outside, he was drenched in sweat when I got out and well on his way to heat stroke. Working Hao ragged will not help Yoh in the slightest. If you would open your eyes and stop this blind hatred, you'd see that."

"That monster deserves a slow death." Anna growled.

"He'll get his punishment, the Patch will make sure of that." Ren reminded her. "But if Hao dies now, we lose Yoh forever."

"All we have is Hao's word on that, and how good is that?" Anna demanded.

"I cannot recall Hao ever outright lying to get what he wanted." Ren informed her. "I think he prided himself on honesty, though he kept secrets. As for this, I was there when he told us of it, Faust and I both. We can both confirm that he was distraught, panicked even. Surely you don't think the high and mighty Hao Asakura would act like that simply to get out of dying again? Dying is nothing to this man, remember?"

Anna huffed and looked away. Ren could see that this argument was getting nowhere. "He can work, but he cannot be overworked. We lose him, we lose Yoh. He's not strong, and he needs time to recover." She looked away from him stubbornly. He pulled out his trump card. "Ask yourself this, would Yoh be proud of the way you are treating Hao?"

He didn't wait for her to answer, just brushed by her and headed upstairs. He doubted what he had said would have an effect on her, if she had an idea in her head she stuck to it like glue. He shook his head, he really did not want to have to babysit Hao, but it looked like it would be turning into something like that.

Hao was sitting cross-legged on the futon in Yoh's room when he came in, staring blankly at the wall. Ren went and sat down in front of him. Hao's eyes shifted and focused on him. They were bleak, tired. He was only wearing a pair of pants after his shower and the ugly black stitches and bruises gave him a look like a war victim.

"Why did you put me in here?" Hao asked miserably. Ren blinked in surprise and then thought about it. Everything in the room reminded Hao of Yoh. Hao was depressed because of Yoh, worried that he couldn't save him. This room was probably not the wisest choice.

"You said it might help Yoh, if he was surrounded by familiar things." Ren reminded Hao. "What's more familiar than his own room?"

"Yeah..." Hao mumbled, looking down at his lap.

"Any other room would have had to have been aired out." Ren continued on. "It just made sense to put you here, but if you feel you can't..."

"I'll be fine." Hao murmured. "It's probably best if I'm in here. Yoh will be disoriented enough as is. Plus, it reminds me why I'm still alive, and what I'm living for." He finished in a very small voice.

"You should rest." Ren said, unable to think of anything else to say. "Don't leave this room." He ordered as an afterthought. "Anna will probably try to put you to work again." Hao nodded vaguely and flopped onto his side, curling up slightly. Ren knew the exhausted man would be asleep in minutes. He left to wait Faust's return.

It wasn't too long before Faust came back. Ren intercepted him and explained what Anna had done. "I want to check him over, make sure he wasn't hurt more somehow." He paused and thought of something else. "Wait a second, I'm going to take food up to him. He's apparently got no appetite and will forget to eat if I don't."

Faust nodded and waited patiently while Ren simply heated up a package of ramen noodles. Hao would have to deal with the cheap and mildly unhealthy meal. "Did you get the job?" He asked as Faust trailed him upstairs.

"It was only an interview but I am reasonably certain I impressed them." Faust replied. Ren nodded, though the fact that Faust would be working meant that he would be fending Anna off Hao on his own for much of the time, he was glad the doctor was getting a job, the man had been getting antsy.

Ren gently shook Hao awake. Hao allowed Faust to check him over, prodding at his healing ribs, inspecting his stitches, checking his heartbeat and lungs. He still looked exhausted, but Ren thought he was starting to look a little less tired.

"Do you feel any dizziness?" Faust asked, shining a light in Hao's eyes. Hao shook his head. "Nausea? Headache?" Hao shook his head again. "Any numbness at all? Any odd pain?" Faust seemed satisfied that Hao was not coming down with something new. "We should be able to take out your stitches soon, by the looks of things."

"Okay." Hao said unenthusiastically.

"Your ribs should be back to fairly normal in about a month." Faust carried on, not seeming to notice his patient's disinterest. "We'll have to keep an eye out and make sure you don't contract pneumonia." Hao bobbed his head in acknowledgement.

"I have something for you to eat." As Ren suspected, Hao's nose wrinkled a little at the sight of the ramen package. It was good to see a little bit of a reaction though, beyond dull compliance and depression that is. "You'll eat it." Ren ordered fiercely. "You've already missed two meals today. I won't have you dying of starvation."

Reluctantly Hao took the noodles and slowly began to eat, making a face at the taste. At least he'll be a little more careful not to forget to eat, if he despises the flavour so much, Ren thought to himself. He would have to make sure he had some quick meals in the house though if Hao did forget, snacks too.

When Hao had finished most of the noodles and was just shoving the rest around fussily, Ren took away the package. "Read, rest, do something that won't tax you." He told Hao. "We'll call you when supper's ready if you haven't already ventured out of this room." Hao nodded slowly again and they took their leave of him.

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Star: review plz!


	13. Chapter 13

Star: I own nothing!

Ren did wind up having to remind Hao of dinner. When he got up to Yoh's room he found Hao reading. Hao looked up as he came in and grimaced. "Oh. Dinner?" He asked. Ren nodded. Hao sighed and got up. He followed Ren quietly downstairs and took a place at the table.

Ren ignored the stares and glares aimed their way, particularly from Anna's end and loaded up Hao's plate. "You're going to eat all of it or I will tie you down and force feed you it." He threatened. One of Hao's eyebrows twitched, but he didn't argue and instead started slowly eating.

The meal was silent for a time, until the awkward stares started to get on Ren's nerves. "We should start training again, particularly sparring. We don't want our skills to get rusty." He stated imperiously.

"Why bother?" Horohoro asked through a mouthful of food. "The tournament's over." Ren rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"And what if it starts up again?" He demanded. "And if you've forgotten, we made enemies during the tournament, what would happen if they decided to come looking for us here?"

"He has a point." Faust said quietly. "As well as the fact that some of those enemies are also hell-bent on destroying Hao, and we need him alive."

The room's occupants stared at Hao, who hunched his shoulders slightly, but kept eating slowly. Ren knew they were resenting the fact that they now had to protect the man they considered their enemy. He mentally shook his head; Yoh wouldn't be happy about that when he woke up, he just knew it.

"Ren has a point." Manta agreed timidly, casting a worried glance at Anna. "Especially if the X-Laws decide to show up. You guys are strong, but they're still stronger. I don't want to lose Yoh because someone managed to take down Hao."

"That is true." Ryu admitted slowly. "So we'll be focussing on fighting then?"

"Yes. We do need to keep our strength and stamina up, but we can't waste time on endless push-ups, laps and weight lifting." Ren stated, giving Anna a harsh stare. "I'll arrange the training." He didn't want Anna taking over; she would just work them until they dropped. He wasn't going to take her bullshit any longer.

Hao hadn't said a word throughout the entire exchange, and was staring down at his plate. Ren noticed that he'd stopped eating. Only a few pieces of chicken and some rice were left, but he'd said to eat _all_ his food, and if he made this concession once, Hao might take advantage of it. Ren wasn't sure if Hao was thinking that intently at the moment, but he wasn't taking chances.

He nudged Hao in the side. "You have to eat that." He reminded him. Hao looked up at him blankly and then down at the plate. It seemed he'd gone off somewhere in his head and forgotten the world around him. It was very... Yoh-like. It made Ren wonder what other sort of personality traits the twins actually shared.

Hao mumbled a 'sorry' and began to eat again. When he was done he moved to stand up. "You can wash the dishes." Anna ordered imperiously.

Ren was about to argue, but a freezing cold hand closed around his arm, stopping him. Ren looked at Hao, who shook his head just slightly, dull eyes asking Ren not to get involved. _Fine_, Ren thought to himself, sitting back. He would have a talk with Hao a little later about not letting her walk all over him.

Ren went to practice with his kwan dao for awhile, clearing his head of angry thoughts for a little while. It was always calming to do a training exercise, he could relax into the rhythms of his body's motions. It helped him on the days he could feel his temper struggling to boil over. He finished, feeling a lot more centered, and headed inside.

Hao was just finishing up wiping down the counters when he walked into the kitchen. "You shouldn't let her order you around like that." Ren said, making Hao jump slightly in surprise. The older shaman turned to look at him.

"It's better if I do listen to her." Hao stated in a dreary voice. "If I don't, she and the others may think that I'm up to something if I'm not going to cooperate." Ren growled to himself, the reasoning made sense. "If I act in any way that might be interpreted as rebellious, I could be locked away, or kept in a drugged state until you can find a way to get Yoh's body back to normal."

"I guess I wouldn't put it past Anna to do either of those things." Ren reluctantly agreed. Hao nodded miserably and finished with the counters. "I guess you need to earn your keep somehow, but you can't let her overwork you, like she was doing earlier today. You're injured, you're weak, you need to recover, otherwise we could lose you both."

"I understand." Hao replied in a whisper. "I know you don't want to lose Yoh." Ren gave him a stern look.

"I said I don't want to lose you both and I meant it." He said fiercely. Hao stared at him a moment and then turned away, looking stunned and guilty. "Right now you both need to recover, so you have to take it easy."

"I don't like feeling useless." Hao pointed out quietly.

"We'll find something for you to do." Ren assured him. "For now I'd suggest just staying out of Anna's way."

"I'll go up to Yoh's room." Hao told him. He started to go and then stopped, fidgeting a little bit. "Ren?" Ren raised an eyebrow. Hao dropped his eyes, looking a little embarrassed. "Thank you... for believing me, I mean."

Ren felt oddly touched. "It was nothing." He sniffed. Hao nodded his head and shuffled off up to Yoh's room.

%&%&%&%&%

Ren wasn't sure what woke him up, late in the night. Was it the creak of a floorboard? A cough? A cry? In any case he was wide awake, his senses on high alert. When nothing happened for a couple minutes he decided to go get a glass of water.

As he padded along the hall he realized that Yoh's door was open. He peeked inside; Hao was gone. "He went to the backyard." Amidamaru explained, appearing behind Ren. "Also, I apologize for not interfering with Anna on Hao's behalf this morning, she would have simply bound me in her beads. I thought it would be best if I could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't collapse or something."

"It's fine Amidamaru." Ren whispered. "There's not many with the courage to stand up to her." He headed downstairs and outside, finding Hao sitting on the edge of the low porch, staring up at the sky. "What are you doing out here?"

"I don't want to sleep." Hao answered slowly.

"Why?" Ren asked, feeling confused.

"Nightmares." Hao replied.

"Your mother." Ren said, remembering what Hao had mentioned on the plane. Hao shook his head.

"I've had that nightmare ever since I can remember." He explained. "I'm used to it. This new one... it frightens me."

"What is it?" Ren asked.

"I'm killing Yoh." Hao's voice was weak. "But, it isn't just that. It's... the knowledge that I had wanted to kill him, and that I would have. It hurts." Hao buried his face in his hands. Ren had no idea what to do. He didn't know how to deal with depression. "What if he hates me, Ren?" Hao suddenly asked, his voice watery.

Ren snorted. "I don't think Yoh knows how to hate." He informed Hao. "And besides, you were the one he called out to."

"He didn't have a choice." Hao reminded him. "I was the only one with that sort of connection to him. What if he finds himself in my body and is appalled, disgusted?"

"I really, highly doubt that will happen." Ren said. "Yoh's good at taking in people who've hurt him. Look at me, look at Faust."

"Maybe..." Hao said doubtfully.

"I can tell you right now that Yoh will probably be thrilled that you chose to help him, even after he hurt you as much as he did." Ren told him.

"It only hurts because I know what I did was terrible now." Hao pointed out.

"I can guarantee that Yoh won't care." Ren stated. "He'll still be sad that you're hurting. That's the way he is."

"He's a better person than I ever was." Hao murmured. Ren patted his shoulder awkwardly.

"He's a better person than any of us."

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Star: Review plz!


	14. Chapter 14

Star: I own nothing!

"You know," Horohoro grunted as Ren sparred with him. "I really have to wonder if Hao really is being truthful."

"What are you going on about now?" Ren asked, feeling exasperated. Horohoro doing deep thinking usually meant that he had a stupid idea in his head.

"We've seen nothing of Yoh's presence and it's been days." Horohoro said. "I'll bet it was a trick." Ren rolled his eyes.

"If you'd actually pay attention to Hao you'd know that's not true." He snapped, aiming a blow at Horohoro's chest. Horohoro blocked it and retreated a couple steps. "There's been some change. You probably haven't noticed that he doesn't look as tired, or that he's not as cold. That means that Yoh is getting better."

"You noticed all that?" Horohoro asked, leaving himself open for just a moment. Ren took advantage and tackled Horohoro, bringing him down.

"Unlike you I actually remain observant." Ren said loftily, one foot on Horohoro's chest. "And thus I know that Hao has more energy and is less chilled."

"So Yoh's going to wake up soon?" Horohoro asked eagerly, struggling back to his feet

"It certainly seems that way." Ren agreed. He sounded certain, but even he had his doubts. Hao said that Yoh's soul was still in that deep state of unconsciousness, but how would they ever know he was telling the truth? _Stop it._ He told himself fiercely. _Hao isn't the same as he once was, he wants to help Yoh, of that I'm certain._

He turned to go inside and found Hao standing on the porch. Ren gave him a critical look. His skin wasn't nearly as pale anymore and the dark circles around his eyes had lightened some. He still looked like he could use a few more meals, but he was eating, if not with much enthusiasm. He was wearing jeans today and a t-shirt and looked a little less rumpled than he had been looking for the last few days.

"What is it, Hao?" He asked, walking over. Hao shook his head, biting his lip. He seemed embarrassed or nervous.

"Do you know anywhere in the area that sells plants?" He asked after a moment of silence. Ren noticed he'd been biting at his bottom lip, the skin there chapped and slightly bloody.

"What kind of plants do you mean?" Ren asked, baffled by Hao's question.

"Like, for a garden." Hao answered.

"But we have a garden full of plants already." Ren informed him, gesturing at the backyard.

"I can make it better." Hao said softly. "You said I needed something to keep me busy." He reminded Ren.

"I did." Ren sighed, shaking his head. "Yes, I know of a place. Let me take a shower first and then we'll go." Hao nodded and allowed him to step inside. He took a quick, cool shower and got dressed again, heading downstairs. Hao waited expectantly by the front door, looking a little sheepish. He put on Yoh's running shoes as Ren watched and the two of them headed out the door.

"Yoh?" Ren asked, remembering that he had yet to enquire after his friend today.

"He's not awake, but..." Hao hesitated, frowning. "He's asleep now, not in a coma, but in a deep sleep."

"How can you tell the difference?" Ren asked. Something like a sad smile darted across Hao's face very briefly.

"He dreams." Hao explained.

"And what does he dream about?" Ren demanded, excitement coursing through him. Yoh was starting to come out of it!

"Falling asleep in class, looking at clouds, flying, going to a feast, just... happy things." Hao replied. Ren couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, that does sound like what Yoh would dream about." He said, failing to suppress a chuckle. Hao began to look worried again though. "What now?" He sighed. "If it's about Yoh hating you again..."

"I know you say he can't hate, but I've done more to hurt him and other people than anyone else." Hao responded. "I don't deserve his kindness."

"Neither did I." Ren informed him firmly. "And yet he still came to my rescue and fought my father, even though he could have died. That's the kind of person Yoh is. He doesn't care if you've done wrong by him, if you need help, he will give it with all his heart."

Hao turned his face away and it was clear to Ren that he still believed he wasn't worth it. There was nothing he could do to sway Hao. Hopefully Yoh would have more luck when he woke up. Hao needed someone like Yoh right now.

Hao was very picky about the plants he wanted for the garden, taking several minutes to decide which he wanted. Most of them were cheerful little flowers, though he chose some bulbs that would spring up a little later. Finally satisfied he headed over to the cash and then halted.

"What now?" Ren groaned.

"I don't have money." Hao said meekly.

"It's for the house so we can put it on the house budget." Ren replied impatiently, wanting to get out of the stifling greenhouse. It was a bit of a stretch, but it was technically for the house. If it kept Hao a little happy, it would be worth it.

Hao got to work as soon as they got home. Ren watched him for a little while, surprised. Hao was concentrated on his self-appointed task with an intensity that Ren had seen very rarely in any person. Not only that, but as he worked, all the tension ebbed out of Hao and the pinched, worried look he wore most of the time these days smoothed out. He was completely relaxed, something Ren had never seen Hao do, even before this huge mess.

Well, it seemed to do Hao good anyways, and it was kind of nice to see him doing something other than moping about. Ren smiled to himself and walked off, letting Hao work in peace.

%&%&%&%

There was something about working the good, clean earth that soothed Hao, at least for a little while. For the last few days if he wasn't doing chores or reading in Yoh's room, he was out in the garden, fussing with his plants, weeding them, checking for pests, watering them and fertilizing them. It was calming, and it silenced the clamour inside his head.

There was a constant undercurrent in the back of his mind, the feel of Yoh sleeping and dreaming. A couple times he'd thought his twin was waking up, but Yoh had settled back down again. His soul was warmer now, Hao no longer felt a constant chill in his bones. It did tell Hao that Yoh was healing. He wouldn't say he was happy, but he was relieved.

Ren called him in for dinner and he stood up, dusting his dirty hands off on his jeans. He sat down and let the conversations go on over his head as he picked at his food. His appetite had yet to return, but he had to eat, unless he wanted Ren to make good on his threat to force-feed him. All the sudden a surge of warmth and joy rose up from inside him, overwhelming his senses...

%&%&%&%

Ren was in the middle of an argument with Ryu when suddenly beside him Hao went rigid. Alarmed Ren looked at him; there was a startled expression on Hao's face. Slowly it ebbed away and Hao blinked, sitting up straight and confident, a slow, easy-going smile working across his face as his eyes went soft and sleepy. Ren knew that smile and those eyes.

"Yoh?" He whispered, hardly daring to believe it.

"Hey guys." Yoh responded with his usual cheerfulness. Everyone froze for a second and then began to babble excitedly. Yoh held up his/Hao's hands for silence.

"I can't do this for very long right now." He explained gently. "It takes a lot of energy. I just wanted to let you guys know I'm doing alright. I'll talk to you guys again soon, alright?"

"Sure thing Yoh." Ren managed to croak out. As he watched the easy grin faded from Hao's face and his eyes grew dull again as his shoulders slumped. Everyone sat in stunned, amazing silence for a long moment. The silence was finally broken by Hao letting out a small, startled sob.

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	15. Chapter 15

Star: I own nothing!

Hao made it up to Yoh's room somehow and shut the door behind him before sinking to the floor. Yoh had said that he was happy to see Hao, happy! Hao allowed the sobs to bubble up in his throat, not caring that there were tears coursing down his cheeks. Yoh shouldn't be happy to see him, it was Hao's fault he was in this situation at all.

A feeling of soothing calm washed over him and he stopped crying and was still. The feeling of calm cut through his tormented thoughts and eased his mind. It was like being hugged from the inside, and Hao knew that it was Yoh trying to make him feel better. He shouldn't...

'**Enough.'** Yoh said softly from within him. **'Calm down, Hao.'**

"But-"

'**You can talk to me without speaking, it'll probably be easier.' **Yoh pointed out. **'I am happy to see you, Hao, you can't change that.'**

'**But, why?' **Hao asked silently. **'You should hate me.'**

'**I don't think I can hate.' **Yoh replied pleasantly. **'Plus, I understand you a little more now. I've been getting snatches of your memories and dreams while I slept. I know about your mother now.'**

'**Oh...'** Hao's tone was miserable. He heard a soft sigh from inside him.

'**The truth is painful, isn't it? I'm sorry Hao, I didn't know this would cause you so much pain, but I understand now, your love is as deep as your hate.' **Yoh's sigh wafted through his mind again. **'I'd do it again, because I know that it was the best way... but I wish it hadn't been so painful for you.'**

'**But... I deserve it!'**

'**The fact that you just said that, and believe it, tells me perhaps that you don't.' **Yoh answered gently. **'If you were truly a monster, what I did would not affect you in any way.'**

'**Maybe...' **Hao was doubtful. He felt calmer though. The warmth of Yoh's soul was soothing, as was the calm happiness he projected. He basked in the feeling, so foreign to him for the last little while. **'I still can't see why you're happy.'**

'**Because you cared, because you've changed and because I care about you, I always have.' **Yoh explained. **'No one who sees ghosts can be all bad, and I just knew there was some reason that you were the way you were, I just couldn't find it.'**

'**You care about me?' **Hao asked, oddly touched.

'**Yes.' **Yoh answered firmly. **'You're still my brother, despite everything, and I just knew, just knew that you were lonely in some way. You were not as good at hiding your emotions as you thought you were.'**

'**Oh.' **Hao could feel the undercurrent of Yoh's thoughts now. Worry, sorrow, and gentle love swam below the surface of Yoh's foremost thoughts. Hao wondered if Yoh could feel his thoughts the same way. A soft chuckle answered the question for him. **'I still can't think why you'd be okay with this situation though.'**

Yoh sighed inside him patiently. **'Let's agree to disagree for now. I think I need to rest.'**

'**Okay.' **Hao felt a little disappointment. The feeling of a warm internal hug occurred again and then Yoh's thoughts faded into sleep. Hao sat back and cried again, this time in relief. Yoh didn't hate him!

%&%&%&%

Hao finally emerged again from his room an hour or so later, his eyes still puffy from crying. He couldn't care less though and simply padded through the quiet house to wander out to his garden. He was settling down to work when someone loomed over him, blocking the sunlight.

"Ser gut?" Faust's voice asked him. "Are you alright? You seemed kind of shaken after the events of breakfast."

"I'm okay." Hao muttered, beginning to pull up weeds. Fust however was determined to be professional. Hao sat through him taking his temperature, checking his heart rate, pupil reactions and prodding his still broken ribs.

"That reminds me, we can probably have your stitches removed." Faust said. "It'll be easy."

"Okay." Hao said disinterestedly.

"How is Yoh?" Faust asked casually as an afterthought.

"Sleeping." Hao replied.

"Ah. Still weak or just lazy I wonder?" Faust said with a thin smile. Hao managed a small smile in return. "Anna is saying that it was fake."

"What?" Hao blinked, completely perplexed. He felt Yoh stir slightly, disturbed in his slumber by Hao's shock.

"Yes, I don't think she completely believes it though." Faust shook his head. "I think she's just scrambling for excuses to justify her behaviour towards you."

"What about the others?" Hao asked.

"It's hard to mistake Yoh for anyone else." Faust explained. "He has an aura that's very hard to miss. You can't pretend to be Yoh to people who know him."

"I guess so." Hao said. He had to agree. Yoh had a certain something about him that made him uniquely... Yoh. He felt ashamed that he'd tried to take that away, to make Yoh just an extension of himself. He'd been so unfair to Yoh, but at least he hadn't killed him, right?

"I confess I was worried about the damage that might have been done while he was trapped in the stone to his soul, but he seems to be the same." Faust commented. "Do you feel anything that worries you?"

"No... but I'll keep you updated, just in case." Hao offered.

"Gut, gut. Now, enough about Yoh's mental well-being, what about yours?" Faust asked. Hao looked up from his work and blinked slowly.

"What?" He asked. "Why would you care about that?"

"You're my patient." Faust said, nonplussed. "And as such I have a duty to make sure you're alright. Depression is such a sad thing to see, in anyone, regardless of their relationship, or lack thereof, to you."

"So, it's a matter of professional interest?" Hao asked. It kind of relieved him. With anyone else they'd only be making sure he wasn't going off the deep-end so that he wouldn't do anything to hurt Yoh. Professional was still detached, but it wasn't a blatant disregard for his own feelings, not that he expected anyone to care about that.

"Somewhat." Faust agreed. "I do confess to having a personal interest in your welfare. You have been cooperative and emotionally distressed by Yoh's plight and I feel myself developing a certain fondness towards you."

Hao blinked, not really sure how to process this new piece of information. Faust actually liked him, as a person? Why would Faust-

'**Stop stressing.'** Yoh's sleepy voice told him before his thoughts went back into sleep-mode. Hao looked up at Faust, who was giving him a mildly concerned look.

"Personally I don't think I deserve your concern." He said softly. "But it will make Yoh happy to know that someone else is looking out for me."

"I'm sure it does." Faust sighed and got up. "Try not to be so hard on yourself Hao, it's not good for your soul."

"I'll try." Hao said, sounding unconvincing even to his own ears. Faust gave him a stern look, but got up and let Hao be. Perhaps it wasn't so strange that Faust liked him. The skeletal man certainly had a more interesting view of the world. Still, it scared him a little that someone who he'd tried to hurt might actually like him.

'**You're over-thinking.' **Yoh informed him drowsily. **'You need to relax for a little while.'**

'**I'm sorry, I'm disturbing your rest, aren't I?' **Hao replied.

'**A little, but that's not why I want you to relax.' **Yoh said gently. **'You're going around in circles and you're going to wear yourself down. Clear your mind, at least for a little while.'**

'**I will.' **Hao promised. He felt Yoh smiling inside him, before his twin slipped off into slumber again. Hao envied the way Yoh seemed to be able to switch off his worries, but he wasn't going to do any more thinking about such things. He got to work on the garden, letting the honest work clear his head of all thoughts.

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Star: Review plz!


	16. Chapter 16

Star: I own nothing!

Yoh slept on through the day while Hao did chores and avoided the inevitable someone trying to talk to Yoh and getting mad that they couldn't. He already felt like an outsider in this house, having Yoh awake probably wasn't going to help that in any way. Still, he was happy Yoh was awake and well.

He dreaded dinner, knowing he'd have to face them then. He had considered holing himself up in Yoh's room, but Ren would have issues with that. If he didn't sit down to dinner Ren would force feed him some more of those disgustingly processed noodles, or maybe something worse. What that could be, Hao wasn't sure, but he betted that something had been invented.

As he suspected, as soon as he sat down for dinner all eyes were on him. "Yoh?" Manta asked quietly. Hao stared down at his plate and shook his head.

"Why not?" Anna demanded.

"He's sleeping." Hao explained. Anna snorted in contempt.

"Well, that does sound like Yoh." Horohoro said with something like humour in his voice. "He's probably glad of the chance just to sleep the day away." That brought forth a couple chuckles of agreement.

As Hao began to relax a little bit he felt Yoh waking up. His twin gave the mental equivalent of a stretch, which felt very strange. Hao waited for him to take control, but Yoh seemed content simply to watch what he was doing.

'**You should concentrate on eating.' **He commented after a time. Hao fumbled with his chopsticks as he jerked a little bit, not expecting Yoh's voice. **'Sorry.'**

'**It's fine, I just wasn't expecting it.' **Hao looked up, realizing everyone was staring at him.

"Let me guess, Yoh woke up just in time for dinner?" Ren rolled his eyes. "Typical."

"So will he talk to us now?" Ryu asked eagerly.

'**I'd be able to do it for a minute or so and then fall right back asleep. It's tiring.' **Yoh explained. **'I'd rather stay awake for a little while right now, can you tell them please?' **

Hao relayed the information to the rest of them. "How would we even know if he's lying?" Anna demanded with a huff. "Yoh wanting to stay awake? Seems fishy to me."

'**Contrary to popular belief I do not want to sleep my life away, napping just feels good.' **Yoh said within Hao. **'I've been in a coma for days, I think that's enough sleep, even for me.'**

Hao again informed the others of this. Horohoro chuckled slightly. "Yup, that sounds like our Yoh." Anna glared at him. Everyone settled back into silence.

'**Kinda funny how I can feel this body moving, taste what you taste, but it feels almost like an echo instead of the real thing.' **Yoh commented. **'I can tell Horohoro helped with the cooking, he likes to overdo it a bit with the spice.'**

'**It's okay.' **Hao said noncommittally. He hardly tasted the food anyways. It was just a mechanical response to chew and swallow, he really didn't feel like eating. He heard Yoh sigh patiently inside him.

'**I think you should take another helping.' **His twin said quietly as Hao moved to get up.

'**Why?' **

'**You've lost too much weight.' **Yoh explained, sounding concerned. **'You need to eat more.' **Hao remained silent. **'Okay, how about either you take a second helping, or have a snack later. Does that sound good?' **

'**What would you do if I don't?' **Hao asked curiously. Yoh wasn't strong enough to take control for very long.

'**It would only take a few seconds for me to tell Ren to make sure you're eating more.' **Yoh reminded him gently.

'**You win.' **Hao said wearily. Ren would be much pushier than Yoh. **'I'll have a snack later. I can't stomach anymore right now.'**

'**That's because you're stomach's all shrivelled up from not eating enough.' **Yoh chided as Hao walked with his dishes towards the kitchen. **'You need to take better care of yourself.'**

'**I won't do anything that's going to get you killed.' **Hao told him. He felt Yoh's disappointment.

'**I'm not saying it for myself. I'm saying it because I'm worried about you.' **Yoh said gently. **'You need to take care of yourself.' **

'**Why?' **Hao asked as he walked up to Yoh's room. All he could feel was dull despair. **'Why do you care so much about me? You shouldn't! I don't deserve it at all. I don't understand you, Yoh.'**

Yoh seemed to have nothing to say to that. Hao could feel his unhappiness and felt even worse than he already did. He flopped down onto the futon in Yoh's room and shoved his face into the pillow. He couldn't seem to do anything right anymore. He hadn't meant to upset Yoh, but he was only telling the truth, wasn't he?

He was at war with himself. One part of him wanted to push Yoh away, he wasn't worthy of his compassion, after all. Perversely, he kind of wanted Yoh to hate him, hurt him, it would help him feel like he was paying for his crimes. But on the other hand his tormented soul ached for the affection that Yoh so willingly offered. It was like a soothing, cool caress on a fevered brow.

He let out a whimper that was suppressed by his pillow. **'Hao...'** Yoh's voice was soft, grieving.

'**Why do you do this, Yoh?' **Hao asked, on the verge of tears. He felt Yoh wrap him in a spirit-hug, the warmth easing his mind just a little bit.

'**That's who I am Hao.' **Yoh said sadly. **'I can't help but care. I don't like seeing people hurt, no matter what they've done to me or anyone else. I did this to you, I feel responsible for your well-being.'**

'**You shouldn't.' **Hao replied. **'I brought this on myself. How could I have been so blinded?'**

'**Hate can do that to people.' **Yoh said sorrowfully. **'You only saw what you wanted to see, and you started treating people like they were just tools. I think that you were hurting then too though, just in different ways. You distanced yourself from people because you were afraid of getting hurt further, am I right?'**

'**Yeah, but how did you...?' **Hao trailed off. The level of understanding Yoh seemed to have of him unsettled him a little bit.

'**I suspected it after learning that Matamune had been your companion first. He'd told me that after you seemed to have gone off the deep end he left. He still feels guilty about that. And then in your second life he helped kill you.' **Yoh paused. **'I've also been getting some of your nightmares, and the thing with your mother just made all the pieces fall into place.'**

'**...I miss her.' **Hao said quietly.

'**I know you do.' **Yoh said in a comforting tone.

'**She'd probably smack me now, seeing what I've done.' **Hao let out a watery, helpless chuckle.

'**Maybe then, if she would be so against what you did, you should do something with the life that you have now to make her proud of you.' **Yoh suggested.

"**I don't think that's possible.' **Hao replied dismally. **"I've done so much...'**

'**You should try though.' **Yoh persisted. **'Don't you want to be able to go to her and have her hug you like nothing ever changed?'**

'**Yes...' **Hao replied wistfully, feeling the tears threatening to fall. **'I can't face her though, not now, not in a hundred years, not in the entire age of the universe.' **

'**She still loves you, I'm certain of that.'**

'**How?' **Hao asked, anguished.

'**Because no matter what, you're still her little boy, and she's still your mother.' **Yoh said gently. **'Just as you're still my brother, no matter what.'**

'**...How do you do this to me?' **Hao asked as tears began to slide down his cheeks.

'**Talent?' **Yoh suggested weakly. **'Let it out, Hao. You'll feel better.'**

Hao needed no further prompting. He pressed his face into the pillow to stifle his choking sobs, soaking it with his tears. Yoh was quiet as he cried, just hugging him, his warmth seeping through Hao like a hot mug of tea. Eventually his sobs petered out and he lay still, exhausted, emotionally drained, but he did feel a little better.

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Star: Angst, angst, angst! Review plz!


	17. Chapter 17

Star: I own nothing but the gratuitous amounts of angst!

**He bore down on his brother, the power of the Great Spirit aiding him. He would kill Yoh, kill him! No, he couldn't kill him, not Yoh. He couldn't stop his body from moving, his lips from making the commands though. He wanted to scream, but his whole being was numb, helpless to do anything but watch. The claws sliced down and... Yoh disappeared. **

**Then, everything disappeared and slowly a calm meadow took form. Hao looked around, finding himself in control of his own body now. He didn't recognise the place, it wasn't him who had made it. So, who...**

'_**That was some nightmare.' **_**Hao whipped around and stared as Yoh walked towards him. His twin was smiling gently, robed in a plain white yukata. **_**'You okay?'**_

'_**I...'**_** Hao had no idea what to say. The dream was still too fresh in his mind. The thing that gave him the shakes though and made him all the more miserable was that at the time he had wanted to kill his brother, probably would have been coldly delighted by it. The memory of that made him feel dirty. **

**Yoh watched him, a worried expression on his face. Hao looked away from him, uncomfortable under his gaze. Suddenly there were thin, but well-muscled arms around him and he felt enveloped by warmth. For a moment he tensed, and then his whole body relaxed into the embrace. He rested his cheek against Yoh's shoulder and closed his eyes, letting the younger support him. **

**Neither of them spoke, no words were needed. Hao let out a shuddering sigh as the chaos in his mind died down and he felt himself calming down. He let his mind go blank and just enjoyed the feeling of their embrace, happy to actually be able to see Yoh and be able to hug back. He lifted his arms slowly and wrapped them around Yoh's waist. **

'_**That's it.'**_** Yoh encouraged gently. **_**'You're okay.' **_**After what seemed like an eternity Yoh stepped back and let go, to Hao's disappointment. Yoh chuckled and sat down, gesturing for Hao to do the same. Hao did so and looked around again. **

'_**Am I still dreaming?' **_**He asked.**

'_**Yes, but it's my dream now, not yours. I made this place.' **_**Yoh explained.**

'_**How?' **_

'_**I've been able to lucid dream since I was little, it's part of the reason I like sleeping so much.' **_**Yoh chuckled. **_**'I guess it's just a natural talent.'**_** He shrugged. **

'_**It's not something I can do, otherwise I would have stopped with these nightmares years ago.' **_**Hao said wistfully. **

'_**You should be able to pick it up with me around.' **_**Yoh said encouragingly. **_**'It's easy once you get the hang of it.' **_**To prove his point the landscape changed and became the cemetery where Yoh star-gazed. Hao looked up as the sky darkened and stars, more stars than would normally be seen, winked into being. The landscape changed back to the meadow after a moment. **_**'I tend to come here when I'm feeling stressed out, I find it calming.'**_

'_**It is.' **_**Hao agreed. **

'_**How are you getting on in the inn?' **_**Yoh asked after a couple quiet minutes.**

'_**Couldn't you just look in my head and find out?' **_**Hao asked dully, feeling his good mood start to evaporate. He didn't want to think about the real world.**

'_**I could, but I would consider that an invasion of privacy, and I want to hear it from you.' **_**Yoh said gently. **_**'If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.'**_

'_**It hasn't been too bad. I've been treated a lot better than I deserve.' **_**Hao said. **_**'Ren and Faust have issues with the way Anna treats me.' **_

**To his surprise what seemed like a projected image, like something seen in a theater, appeared in front of them and Hao saw himself being slapped, ordered around, shoved and generally being berated by Anna. **

'_**Hmm, you have a little more control over this place than I would have thought, though it's purely an emotional response at the moment.' **_**Yoh mused and then sighed. **_**'I think I'm going to have to have a talk with her.' **_

'_**Why?' **_**Hao asked, looking down. **

'_**What she's doing is holding a grudge for something that's been solved. You didn't kill me, you're helping me, and you're truly remorseful and upset by what you've done. When that happens I believe there is no need for punishment anymore. You are your own worst judge after all.' **_**Yoh explained. **

'_**But I-' **_**Warm hands cupped his face, lifting it so that he was looking into Yoh's eyes. They were soft.**

'_**Enough.' **_**Yoh stated gently, but firmly. **_**'This is a place of peace. Let go of your troubles, if only for this moment.' **_**Hao mutely nodded his head and allowed Yoh to hug him once again, casting his fears and his unhappiness away, if only for that moment. **

%&%&%&%

Hao woke up with the sun on his face feeling the most rested and peaceful that he had in days. He sat up and stretched, yawning lazily. He opened his eyes and looked around, reality coming crashing back down. He was in Yoh's room, dressed in his clothes, sleeping in his bed. He had no business being here at all, enjoying the kindness of people he'd hurt. Yoh sighed patiently inside his head.

'**And here you were doing so well for a moment.' **He said sadly. **'Oh well, we'll keep working on it.' **

'**You have too much faith in me.' **Hao replied dismally.

'**If I don't have faith in you, who will?' **Yoh inquired calmly. **'Come on now, it's time for breakfast, and remember...'**

'**I know, I either take a second helping or have a snack later.' **Hao said obediently.

'**I'd also like you to ask Faust to start keeping track of your weight.' **Yoh added.

'**...You're taking this very seriously, aren't you?' **

'**I think it's time you let someone else take care of you for once.' **Yoh replied evenly. **'I'm pretty sure I'm the best candidate for that.'**

'**Yeah...' **Hao said vaguely as he got dressed and headed downstairs. Everyone was already halfway through eating when he got down.

"You're late so you shouldn't get breakfast." Anna snapped at him. Hao saw Ren move to speak, but Yoh was faster and in the blink of an eye Hao found himself merely an observer in his own body, no longer in control.

"That's enough Anna." Yoh said sternly with Hao's mouth. There was no mistaking his voice for Hao's somehow. "You're being unreasonable."

Anna stared at him for a couple minutes before regaining her composure. "He's the reason you're in this situation, why should I be nice to him?"

"He's also the reason I still exist." Yoh reminded her. "There's no sense to this grudge of yours, it's a moot point. "Your treatment of him borders on abuse, and you know I would not condone that at all. He may have done horrible things, but if you treat him badly you're just as bad as he is. He already doesn't eat enough, starving him does no one good."

"Yoh..." Anna said in what bordered on a pleading tone. "I thought you were dead, that he'd killed you. You want me to forget that?"

"Of course not." Yoh said, his tone softening. "But you're letting your anger get the better of you and you're failing to see what's right in front of you. Hao's not the same as he was, and he agreed to save my life because he wants to try to redeem himself. You don't know, because you can't feel what he feels, but I do. Trust me Anna, he doesn't need to be punished." Anna went to speak. "If I keep control for much longer I'll just fall asleep for the rest of the day. It's getting better, but it's slow going for now. You guys are great, talk to you later."

With that Hao felt himself regaining control of his body. He blinked and then at Yoh's urging, went and sat down. He helped himself to food, taking a little more than usual thanks to Yoh's coaxing and started eating. The rest of the table was silent for a time. Hao kept his eyes down, but he could still feel their stares boring into him.

"Well, I have to say that having Yoh do that is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen." Horohoro declared. "It's like getting a telephone call from him or something, except we can see him, sort of."

"Of all the things we've seen in the tournament, you say that's one of the strangest?" Ren asked in disbelief. Horohoro shrugged his shoulders.

"I have to agree with Horohoro. That transformation from Hao to Yoh is just eerie." Manta said. "I wonder what it feels like to have someone just take over your body like that."

There was silence and Hao lifted his head to find everyone staring at him expectantly. He blinked in confusion before realizing what they wanted. "It's not that strange, just feel like you're watching a movie instead of actually living it. Would be worse if I didn't know who was doing it."

"It is." Ryu agreed, remembering when he'd first met Tokagero. Hao nodded his head and then took his empty plate away from the table. He shook his head slightly at the idea that the others seemed to be getting used to him around the place. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea or not.

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Star: Review plz!


	18. Chapter 18

Star: I own nothing!

Ren decided that things had gotten too quiet. He didn't like it. It felt too much like something else was going to happen. It usually did around here. So while everyone else relaxed into their own rhythms, he was watchful and wary.

Things had been going well, he had to admit that. Since Yoh's stern lecture to Anna a few days ago Anna had basically taken to simply ignoring Hao. Even free of her ordering him about, Hao still did his share of the chores before puttering around in his garden, which was flourishing under his care. Sometimes Ren would go out and find Hao in what seemed like a deep trance. When asked, Hao told him he was talking with Yoh.

In Ren's opinion, Yoh waking up had been the best thing for Hao. Even over the last couple of days there had been a noticeable change in Hao's demeanour. He held himself a little straighter, his head a little higher. His eyes were still dull, but there was a little more life to them than before. His weight was still worrying, but he was eating more and allowing Faust to track his weight.

One thing was definitely certain; Hao was not the same man that they had once feared. The man who lived with them now was quiet, almost shy, even-tempered and helpful. Ren wondered how much of it was Yoh's influence on his twin. He suspected though that a lot of it was Hao's true personality that had been suppressed by his hatred for so many years.

Spellbooks by the dozens arrived from the Asakuras, the Taos, the Usuis, and even Faust had his occult books shipped in from Germany. Getting through them all was slow and frustrating. There were spells to transform someone into any number of things, but very little on how to change them back, and nothing on how to transform stone back into flesh. It was early days though, and there were a lot more spells to get through.

So other than the fact that Yoh was still without a body and could only take control of Hao's body for a few minutes at a time things were going alright. That was what had Ren worried. They had never had a moment of peace that had not been shattered by some crises. It seemed that Yoh attracted trouble, and with both the twins in one place, Ren was sure that trouble would come to them.

It was a warm day, not too hot and Hao of course was working in what he considered his garden. Ren was glad that Hao had something he took pride in, it gave him something besides Yoh to live for. Everyone was doing their own thing. He was in the living room, poring over yet another spellbook with increasing frustration.

There came a knock on the door and Ren threw down his book with a growled curse. He muttered to himself as he stalked towards the door. It was probably another delivery of useless spellbooks. He wrenched open the door, nearly ripping it from its hinges, about to snap at whoever had disturbed him, and then stopped, staring in surprise.

"Ah, hello Ren." Lyserg said nervously, green eyes blinking in uncertainty.

"What are you doing here?" Ren demanded, a little more harshly than he'd meant to. Lyserg flinched slightly at his tone, looking embarrassed.

"I know I wasn't exactly the best friend after I joined the X-Laws, I'm a little ashamed of my behavior to be honest. And I know I kind of left abruptly after the battle." Lyserg rambled. "I just... Yoh had invited me here some time ago, and it's been really lonely back in England and I can't stop thinking about Yoh, and I hoped that coming here would help." He looked at Ren like he expected to get kicked out.

Ren had half a mind to oblige him. The kid had turned on them, nearly gotten them killed by the X-Laws. But he had come back, he had been Yoh's friend. The big problem was Hao being here. Still, Lyserg deserved to know what had happened to Yoh. If it came down to a fight, Ren knew he could take the Englishman out no problem.

"Come on in." He sighed, standing aside. Lyserg picked up his duffel bag and came inside, looking relieved. Ren followed him, unable to feel anything but dread for the encounter he knew was coming. He'd rather get it over with quickly.

"Er, how is everyone doing these days?" Lyserg asked, obviously trying to make small talk.

"We've adjusted." Ren said shortly.

"Oh, that's good to hear." Lyserg said.

Then, with the perfect timing that only karma could produce, the back door opened and Hao wandered in, wiping his dirt covered hands on his pants. Lyserg and Hao noticed each other at the same time and froze, startled. Lyserg was the first to recover, and with a growl one fist lashed out and struck Hao hard enough in the face to send him smashing into the wall.

As Hao slid down the wall, Ren grabbed Lyserg, who was reaching for his pendant, pulling the green-haired boy. "What the hell are you doing!" Lyserg shrieked, fighting against Ren's hold. "Why is he here? Have you gone completely mad? Why are you helping him?"

Ren grunted and twisted as he fought to hold on to the struggling boy. "Lyserg." The calm, unmistakable voice of Yoh cut through Lyserg's shrieks of rage. Lyserg stiffened, no longer fighting.

"Y-Yoh?" He stuttered. Ren released him and the both of them turned around. Yoh's calm black eyes regarded Lyserg.

"Yeah, it's me." He smiled slightly, bringing Ren's attention to his rapidly bruising right cheek.

"What... I don't understand."

"I'll try to make this quick, I can't keep control for very long yet. I wasn't dead. I was trapped in that stone and I was fading away from existence. Hao was the only one who could hear me, and he was the only one who could keep me from returning from my body and fading away. We're looking for some way to change my body back to the way it was, but until then I need Hao." Yoh explained quickly. "Ren can probably explain it better, but I don't have a lot of time. I'm going to have to ask you something though."

"What?" Lyserg asked, mystified.

"I want you to try to go easy on Hao while you're here."

"What?"

"I didn't just injure him during our battle. I made him feel everything he's ever made others feel about him, or because of him." Yoh explained. "So think about the rage, the pain and the sorrow you felt, and multiply it by however many times he's ever hurt someone. He's... in a lot of pain, more pain than you can imagine. Just... try to be civil, that's all I ask." Yoh begged.

"I... I guess." Lyserg agreed, sounding reluctant to Ren's ears. Yoh smiled happily though.

"Thanks Lyserg. I'll talk to you guys a little later, okay?"

Yoh's presence faded and Hao stared, stunned for a moment and then dropped his eyes, shoulders hunching. He slowly walked away back into the backyard. Lyserg stared at the spot where he'd been for a long moment.

"I'll get you a room." Ren finally said. Lyserg looked at him and then nodded his head. Ren walked up the stairs.

"Can you really trust him?" Lyserg asked.

"You haven't been here. He's not the same man who killed your parents." Ren replied shortly. "If you'll excuse me I have to check on him."

"Why?"

"He is potentially suicidal, and I'm not certain he'll be thinking clearly at the moment." Ren said bluntly. He left Lyserg and hurried out to the backyard. Hao was on his knees weeding his garden with what seemed like desperation. Moving closer Ren noticed a manic look in Hao's eyes that worried him.

"Are you alright, Hao?" He asked.

"I'm fine." Hao's voice trembled.

"Come on Hao, tell me the truth." Ren demanded.

"I'M FINE!" Hao yelled, his voice cracking with desperation. His body seemed to spasm and he curled up, burying his face in his hands. "I'm a monster." He moaned. Ren knelt beside him and put a hand on his back. Hao jerked away from the touch and looked up, eyes wild, and hands balling into fists. "DON'T TOUCH- ungh."

Hao's eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground. Ren cursed and turned him over, finding Hao unconscious. "He's alright." Ren looked up at Amidamaru.

"Alright? He just passed out!"

"I'm pretty sure it was Yoh's doing." Amidamaru replied. "Preventing Hao from hurting himself?" He suggested. Ren had to admit that made sense. He growled in annoyance and lifted Hao's prone body in a fireman's carry. He carried Hao up to his/Yoh's room and laid him down on the futon.

"I hope Yoh can calm him down." He said softly.

"It's Yoh, of course he will." Amidamaru said with utmost confidence. "I'll stay with him, make sure he stays okay."

"Good." Ren said. He left Hao being watched over by the vigilant samurai.

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Star: Review plz!


	19. Chapter 19

Star: I own nothing!

**Yoh walked through a landscape that slowly took form as he continued to walk. It resolved itself into a small meadow, surrounded on three sides by forest. At the edge of the forest a small house was burning. Yoh stopped for a moment and watched it, but what he was looking for was not here, so he continued on. **

**He headed into the forests, where images flickered in and out among the trees. Scenes of violence, pain and rage all flitted before his eyes, and before long he found himself crying silently. As he travelled deeper he began to hear a peculiar sound.**

**It was weeping, but it seemed to be coming from everywhere at once, echoing strangely, the sound ebbing and swelling oddly. Yoh didn't need to try to follow the sound, he already knew where he was going. Something drew him on, into the heart of the forest where it grew dark and threatening. It was the place where nightmares came from. **

**Finally Yoh found what he was looking for. A little boy, bare-footed and clad in a dirty, ripped kimono lay curled among the roots of a massive tree, sobbing his little heart out. This was Hao at his core, not a confident, powerful man, but a frightened, lost little boy who had lost the only family he'd ever known. Yoh felt his heart clench at the pitiful sight. **

**Hao noticed him then, his head shooting up. Big black eyes filled with tears stared at Yoh, afraid and uncertain. He couldn't have been much more than a toddler, Yoh thought to himself with a pang of sorrow. He knelt on the ground and held out his arms to his brother. **

**Hao stared at him a moment, sniffling softly. Slowly he got to his feet and toddled towards Yoh, falling into his arms almost frantically. Yoh sat down and settled Hao into his lap as the little boy buried his face in Yoh's shirt and sobbed harder than before, his little hands twisting in the fabric. **

**Yoh didn't say a word. There were no words to say. He just held his brother, allowing him to cry himself out in the comfort of his arms. That's all that he needed right now, someone who would offer him comfort and make him feel safe. There would be time for talking later.**

%&%&%&%

Ren went to go check on Hao just before dinner. Hao was still lying where Ren had left him and no prodding, shaking, poking or clapping could wake him up. He finally gave up with a sigh and headed out. He paused though at the door.

"I hope you can still help him, Yoh." He murmured. "Keep a close eye on him." He told Amidamaru, who nodded solemnly. He closed the door and headed back downstairs.

He sat down at the table and began eating. Presently he realized that some of his friends were staring oddly at him. "What?" He snapped.

"Dude, where's Hao?" Horohoro asked. "Didn't you like threaten to force-feed him if he didn't eat properly?"

"He's unconscious." Ren replied, realizing that he hadn't told anyone what had happened to Hao.

"What happened? Is he alright?" Faust asked, looking worried. "You should have told me."

"He had a nervous breakdown and Yoh put him to sleep." Ren explained. "He's not sick or injured so I didn't think he needed to see you."

"Nervous breakdown...?" Ryu repeated. He then looked at Lyserg, sitting by his side. Ren nodded his head.

"Yoh's working with him now, or so I assume." He continued. There was silence for a couple minutes.

"I still can't see why you're all so calm with him here, even if it is Yoh with him." Lyserg finally burst out.

"Come on Lyserg, don't be like that." Ryu said, sounding hurt. "You make us sound like we're the bad guys."

"It's not like that." Lyserg told the older man. "I just don't understand why you let him roam freely. Why not just lock him up?"

"Well for one thing Yoh was unconscious at first and how do you think he would have felt waking up and finding himself not only in an unfamiliar body, but imprisoned as well?" Ren asked.

"Oh." Lyserg coloured a little. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Not to mention he can't use his powers with that collar on." Ryu added. "So you don't have to worry about him hurting you."

"Some of you seem almost concerned about him." Lyserg accused, eying Ren in particular. It was Manta who answered though.

"You haven't been here, watching him." The diminutive teenager shook his head. "Before Yoh woke up he walked around in a fog. He probably wouldn't have eaten much if it wasn't for Ren threatening to force feed him. He just didn't seem very interested in life, wouldn't meet our eyes, didn't talk much. He's a mess."

"He's got depression." Faust added.

"Because of what Yoh did to him?" Lyserg asked.

"Yes, I would say that Yoh's actions gave Hao a bit of a... wake up call, if you will, opened his eyes." Faust replied. "He's been better these last several days since Yoh's been awake, but it appears we hada set-back."

"Try to go easy on him Lyserg." Ryu pleaded. "We don't want to lose Yoh."

"Well I'm not going to be buddy-buddy with him, but I won't go out of my way to be nasty." Lyserg huffed. "I don't want to lose Yoh either."

%&%&%&%&%

Ren woke up in the middle of the night, his senses on high alert. Something had woken him up. He crept out of the room and down the hallway. At the foot of the stairs he could see pale light. He walked down and saw that it was coming from the kitchen. He padded over to the doorway and looked in.

Hao was standing at the counter, eating the leftovers that Ren had put in the fridge, in case Hao had woken up. He seemed, to Ren's eyes, listless again, like he was before Yoh woke up. At least he was eating, though Yoh would hardly allow him to starve himself.

"Hey." He said quietly, trying not to startle Hao. He only slightly succeeded as Hao flinched and dropped his chopsticks with a clatter. "Sorry." Hao picked up his chopsticks wordlessly, staring down at his bowl as Ren went over to him.

"I'm sorry, about earlier." Hao murmured so softly Ren almost didn't hear him.

"For what? Having a nervous breakdown? I can't blame you for that." Ren sniffed. "How do you feel now?" Hao shrugged his shoulders. "You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?" Hao shook his head. "Well, since I'm awake I'm going to make myself some tea. You're welcome to a cup." Hao nodded his head.

Ren brewed the tea, watching Hao out of the corner of his eye. He was finishing up his food slowly but surely. The dark eyes were distant, vague, like he wasn't all there. Ren knew that Yoh was probably doing some serious damage control, and Hao having a friend on the outside would probably help him out of the funk he'd gotten into.

Ren poured out two cups of tea and then headed outside to the back porch. Hao followed him, almost like a puppy dog, one unsure if he was going to get smacked. Ren sat down and Hao sat down a little ways away from him, cupping the cup in two hands almost childishly. Ren ignored him for the moment, looking over the garden illuminated by the light of the full moon.

"You've done good work out here." He observed.

"Thank you." Hao murmured.

"You know what this garden tells me?" Ren mused. Hao shook his head. "It tells me that you're not just capable of destruction, but you're capable of creating and nurturing things as well." Hao looked at him, confused. "You can do good, that's what this garden tells me."

"It's just a garden." Hao protested.

"You of all people should know that nothing is _just_ anything." Ren scoffed. Hao looked at the garden, his face thoughtful.

"I have a request." He said finally.

"And what's that?" Hao was silent for a moment.

"Would it be possible for me to take meals in my room for the time being?" He asked.

"Why-" Ren paused. "Lyserg?" Hao nodded. "Hm. What does Yoh have to say about it?"

"He thinks it would be for the best." Hao replied.

"Alright." Ren said. If Hao was lying he'd know soon enough anyways. Things were tense enough around the house, it would be to their advantage to keep Lyserg away from Hao as much as possible.

"Thank you Ren." Hao stood up and hesitated before walking in. "It's... it's been a long time since I've had someone I could call a friend."

He smiled slightly and then walked back inside the house. Ren stared after him, surprised. A friend? Well, he'd started out wanting to understand Hao a little better, and then turned to making sure Hao was going to be alright... yes, he supposed he would consider himself Hao's friend as well.

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Star: Review plz!


	20. Chapter 20

Star: I'd like to take a moment to answer some questions that my reviewer TheBlackRaven has asked me, so if you're not curious, just skip the story. Alright, I don't have Hao as telepathic in most of my stories because it's a hard thing to keep track of and doesn't always work with what I'm trying to do. Next question, the concept of the soul conflict doesn't apply because they are linked spiritually, like think of a spiritual chain keeping them together, sorry I didn't explain that better. Also, they're twins so their bodies are similar enough that one soul will not be rejected. Finally, the Great Spirit does not interfere in the affairs of mortals in my opinion, that is the sole job of the Shaman King. Hope that answers some things, now onto the story.

Lyserg was both relieved and annoyed. Hao had avoided him for most of the day, he hadn't even taken meals with the rest of them. He'd seen him walking around the house, but the former fire shaman just ducked his head and moved quickly away when he saw him. Not that Lyserg really wanted to have anything to do with him, but his skittish reactions were kind of exasperating.

He was reading in the living room when someone cleared their throat politely behind him. He looked up, and scowled at Hao. Hao gave him a nervous look in reply and then looked down, fidgeting a little bit. Lyserg had to admit that he didn't look much like the man he hated, not while he was pale and thin and dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt with a purple bruise on his face.

"What?" He snapped. Hao flinched slightly.

"I... uh... I just..." He paused, swallowing thickly, his Adam's Apple bobbing. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." He whispered. Lyserg stared, unable to process what Hao had just said.

"What...?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, for everything I've put you through." Hao said. "I-I know it doesn't make it okay, and it can't... it can't undo what I've done, no matter how much I wish it could. I just... wanted to say it, let you know, I don't know if it helps or not."

Rage rose like bile in Lyserg's throat. How dare Hao make fun of him like this? He stood up as a red mist settled over his vision and his fury boiled over.

%&%&%&%

Ren was just getting dressed after his shower when he heard a shriek of rage from downstairs. He reacted instantly, careening out of his room and down the stairs in a single leap. It was a good thing too, because the scene in the living room was potentially deadly.

Lyserg was sitting on top of Hao, his hands around the older boy's throat, squeezing. Hao was panicking, trying to thrash and break Lyserg's powerful grip on him. Ren didn't hesitate and ran, snapping one foot out and kicking Lyserg in the side. Lyserg yelped and his grip loosened. Ren grabbed him by the back of his collar and threw him away from Hao.

He stalked over, picked Lyserg up and slammed him into the wall. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded through gritted teeth. "Have you forgotten why he's here?"

"He... that bastard..." Lyserg growled incoherently. "He... apologized to me!"

"That's what you're getting bent out of shape about?" Ren demanded disbelievingly. "An apology? Are you stupid?"

"He's making fun of me." Lyserg muttered petulantly.

"You didn't even consider that he might be sincere, did you?" Ren's tone was acidic. "Of course not, you let your hatred of him do the thinking for you." He turned slightly, seeing Faust futilely trying to coax Hao, who was curled up on the ground, crying brokenly, to sit up for him. "I want you out."

"What?" Lyserg demanded, eyes wide.

"You obviously can't control yourself around him and I am not going to have our only shot at getting Yoh back gone." Lyserg opened his mouth. "Don't bother. You've got two strikes against you already, but if I let you have a third strike you might just kill him. Get your things and get out."

"Where am I supposed to go?" Lyserg asked angrily.

"I don't care." Ren replied coldly. "There are motels in the area, maybe you could ask Manta if you can bunk at his place for the night, but you're not staying here." He slackened his grip a little, but then tightened it again as he thought of something else. "One more thing." He brought his face close to Lyserg's. "You breathe a word of this to anyone, especially the X-Laws, and I will find you."

With that threat he released Lyserg. The green-haired boy gave him a poisonous glare before stomping upstairs to his room. Ren ignored him and headed over to Faust, finding him injecting something into Hao's arm. Hao shuddered and sighed, his body going limp.

"Morphine?" Ren asked.

"Ja." Faust replied absentmindedly, turning Hao over onto his back. He inspected his bruised throat. "Lyserg is leaving then?"

"Yes, I'm not going to have him kill Hao." Ren said firmly. Faust nodded his head in agreement.

"Well, besides the bruising, he's alright, at least physically." He sighed.

"Yoh will be able to help with the rest." Ren replied.

"Not just Yoh, I should think." Faust said thoughtfully, lifting Hao's prone body into his arms. "I think he considers you a friend and someone to trust as well."

Ren blinked; that was the second time he'd been referred to as Hao's friend. "Yes, well, I'm not as good at touchy-feely stuff as Yoh, but I will do my best." He declared. Faust nodded and headed upstairs to place Hao in bed.

%&%&%&%

**He was small again, but then he felt small, and helpless. His cheek rested against Yoh's chest and his arms dangled limply by his sides. Yoh held him gently, as he had before. Neither spoke for a long time.**

'_**I'm very proud of you.' **_**Yoh finally said. **

'_**But I failed.' **_**Hao protested without lifting his head. The arms around him squeezed gently.**

'_**No, you apologized and meant it wholeheartedly, you didn't fail.' **_**Yoh told him gently. **_**'It's not your fault he wouldn't accept it.' **_

'_**Then what was the point?' **_**Hao asked dismally.**

'_**The point was you admitting your guilt, and in so doing, easing some of that guilt.' **_**Yoh explained. **_**'It doesn't matter if it's accepted or not, you are acknowledging that you were responsible and wrong. Part of apologizing is helping heal the person who is apologizing, not just the person being apologized to. I'll bet you feel a little better having done it, don't you?' **_

**Hao thought about that for a second and then nodded his head. It did feel like there was a small weight lifted from his shoulders.**_** 'I need to apologize to you, too.' **_**He said softly. **_**'I hurt you, maybe almost as bad as Lyserg, just in different ways. I'm sorry I was so cruel to you, and acted like you were nothing.' **_

**Yoh gave him another squeeze. **_**'I forgive you, for everything.' **_**He said gently. Hao felt another weight lift off him and he completely relaxed, melting into Yoh's embrace. **

'_**I'll apologize to the rest of them too.' **_**He promised.**

'_**Now that's some good thinking.' **_**Yoh said with approval. **_**'Saying you're sorry is one way for both parties to start to heal. I'm sure they can already figure out that you're sorry, but somehow hearing it makes it a little better.'**_

'_**Yeah.' **_**Hao agreed. **_**'What do I do about Lyserg though? I'm worried he'll try to hurt me again.'**_

'_**I don't think it will be a problem.' **_**Yoh assured him. Hao looked up into his face, confused. Yoh smiled gently at him. **_**'I'm pretty sure just before Faust sedated you I heard Ren telling Lyserg to get out and don't come back.'**_

'_**Oh... how do you feel about that?' **_**Hao asked worriedly. He knew that Yoh viewed Lyserg as a friend, even if he wasn't really acting like a very good one at the moment. Yoh gave him a sad smile.**

'_**I would have suggested it anyways if Ren didn't do it.' **_**He admitted. **_**'Lyserg allows his hate to rule him, kind of like you did, and I would be on edge having him in the same house as you. I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about your safety. You've made some friends here.'**_

**Hao lowered his head. **_**'I don't deserve them.' **_

'_**I bet Ren feels the same way sometimes.' **_**Yoh mused. **_**'If you feel that way, try to do whatever you feel will help you earn their friendship, but I don't think it's necessary. Ren has judged you, and found you worthy. I don't think you could convince him otherwise.'**_

'_**No, he's stubborn.' **_**Hao admitted. **_**'Yoh?'**_

'_**Uh huh?'**_

'_**... Thank you, for believing I could change.' **_**Yoh hugged him tighter again, a soft chuckle rumbling in his chest.**

'_**If I didn't believe in you, who would?'**_

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Star: I realized that there's been one song that I keep coming back to while writing this that seems to perfectly reflect what Hao's going through. It's No Way Out, by Phil Collins. I suggest looking it up, it's a beautiful piece.


	21. Chapter 21

Star: I own nothing!

When Hao wandered downstairs he found Ren, Ryu, Horohoro and Manta preparing to go out somewhere. Ren spotted him and marched over. Hao let out a startled yelp as Ren grabbed his arm and all but dragged him towards the front door.

"You're going out with us." Ren told him firmly.

"What? Where?" Hao asked, baffled. He felt Yoh perk up with interest at their conversation.

"We're going to see a movie." Ren replied. Hao tried to pull out of his grip unsuccessfully.

"I don't watch movies." He protested feebly.

"Do you like Tolkien?" Ren asked. Hao frowned at him.

"He's a brilliant storyteller, but I don't see-"

"We're seeing Return of the King." Ren interrupted. "You'll like it."

"I thought that was out years ago." Hao said doubtfully. He knew he wasn't going to be able to argue his way out of this.

"It was, but there's a sort of festival going on at the theater and they're showing movies that have already been out for awhile. They showed the whole trilogy over the weekend, but there would have been mountains of people going, so we decided to wait." Ren explained.

'**It'll be fun, Hao. The Lord of the Ring movies were really well done.' **Yoh said encouragingly. **'And you keep yourself too cooped up here anyways. You need to take a break and have a little fun.' **

'**Fun?' **Hao echoed. The concept was foreign to him. He didn't think he'd done anything for fun since his childhood. He pulled on Yoh's running shoes as he thought about that. Everything he'd done was calculated, cold, even when he appeared to be relaxing he was never completely relaxed.

'**You've learned to relax a little now.' **Yoh pointed out. **'When you're working in your garden, or with me, you're not tense at all. Now I just have to teach you to enjoy yourself.'**

'**Enjoy myself...' **Hao repeated. He didn't think that he should be enjoying himself, not with the weight of multiple murders on his soul. Yoh sighed patiently inside him. **'Sorry Yoh, but-'**

'**I understand Hao.' **Yoh told him. **'You've come so far already, and I'm proud of you.' **Hao couldn't help but feel like Yoh was putting too much faith in him again, but he liked the feeling all the same.

He followed the others out the door. "We're going to be taking a bus." Ren warned him. "Since it's the middle of the day during a weekday there shouldn't be too many people on it, but just letting you know."

"I may not be comfortable with people, but I'm not going to go into a homicidal fury just by being around them." Hao responded wearily.

"Just making sure." Ren replied evenly. The bus was indeed fairly empty. A couple passengers gave Hao's bruised face a vaguely curious look, but otherwise they were ignored. After about a fifteen minute ride they disembarked in front of a large plaza that boasted a multiplex.

"We going for the IMAX showing?" Horohoro asked.

"Naturally." Ren replied. "IMAX gives the best experience in my opinion." He explained to Hao. After getting tickets they headed to the concession stand. "I'm assuming you don't want soda?" Hao wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Juice or water?"

"Water." Hao responded.

"Ever had popcorn?" Ren asked, looking up at the prices.

"When I was a Patch, but it's probably a lot different." Hao replied.

"Hm, probably." Ren muttered. "How about you get a small, and I'll get a large. That way if you don't like it, it's not too big of a deal, but if you do I can pour some of mine into your bag if you want more." Hao nodded in agreement and Ren ordered and paid.

They chose seats near the back of the theatre. After sitting through about ten minutes of previews the movie finally started. Hao had to admit it was well-done and entertaining. The popcorn was okay, a little saltier than he'd like, but unpleasant. He could feel Yoh's enjoyment of both the movie and the popcorn inside him.

When the movie was over they all headed out. Hao's legs felt a little stiff from sitting so long. "Why don't we walk around a little bit?" Ren suggested. "The next bus isn't going to come around for another half hour or so."

Everyone agreed and they walked along the sidewalk. It was an interesting little area with specialty shops of all kinds, and it was fun to just window shop. "I think the best part was the Rohan dudes charging the orc army at Minas Tirith." Horohoro declared.

"I liked when Eowyn stabbed the wraith in the face." Ryu replied.

"What was your favourite part, Hao?" Manta asked. Hao blinked, startled to find himself included in the conversation.

"I liked the lighting of the beacons between Gondor and Rohan." He admitted. "They missed the part at the end though with Saruman taking over the Shire."

"Huh?" Horohoro and Ryu looked blank.

"I always thought that seemed out of place." Ren declared. "I mean everything's over, they're all tired and ready to go back to normal life, why throw another curve ball at them? It just never fit to me."

"I guess." Hao agreed. "And I suppose if they had to take something out of the movie that wasn't the worst thing."

His attention wandered as Ryu and Horohoro began arguing over who was prettier, Arwen or Eowyn. It was kind of a silly thing to be arguing about. **'Keeps them happy though.' **Yoh told him silently. **'It's just something fun to debate about without being serious.' **

"Have you ever been to a movie theater before?" Ren asked, cutting through Hao's thoughts.

"No, this is the first time. I have to admit, there's something exhilarating about the massive sound all around you and the size of the screen." Hao told him.

"There are certain movies I think that you need to see in theaters, to get the best experience out of them." Ren said, matter-of-factly. "Would you do it again?"

"If it was the right kind of movie." Hao replied. "I prefer something intellectually stimulating and your comedies, romances, horror, action seem so... I don't know."

"I think you'd like Batman Begins and the Dark Knight."

"Batman? I caught a few minutes of the old show once and it was terribly campy." Hao replied.

"Dude, the new Batman movies are nothing like that." Horohoro said. "They are dark and gritty and you really get thinking. They are not your average comic book hero movies."

"You'd probably like Inception, Shutter Island and V for Vendetta." Manta piped up. "If you're looking for something that makes you think, anyways."

"Should have a movie night." Horohoro suggested. "Get you caught up on modern culture."

It was odd, walking along with Yoh's friends, who were acting like he was their friend too. Maybe it was the air, maybe it was just the camaraderie of the moment, but he knew it couldn't, shouldn't last. He was an outcast for a good reason. At one time these people had wanted him dead for what he had done to them, and he didn't blame them.

'**Well, it lasted a little while.' **Yoh said regretfully. **'Come on Hao, you're allowed to be a little happy. You're allowed to have people who like you, for you. Maybe it won't last, but enjoy the moments while you're in them.'**

'**You say that like I'm going to have more of them.'**

'**Oh, you will.' **Yoh replied confidently. **'You can be sure of that.'**

Hao shook his head at his brother's seemingly boundless optimism. He looked up as they walked past another row of shops. He paused, something strange catching his eye in one of the windows. He stopped completely and stared up at the store sign. It took a couple seconds for the others to realize he wasn't with them anymore and to come back.

"Hao?" Ren asked. "What are you doing?"

"I can't believe it." Hao muttered in reply. "Right under our noses."

"What?" Ren asked impatiently. Hao pointed up at the shop sign.

**PARANORMAL EMPORIUM**

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Star: Review plz!


	22. Chapter 22

Star: I own nothing!

"What? What's so special about this place?" Horohoro asked. Hao ignored him and pulled the door open. The wind chimes above the door tinkled as he did so. He stepped inside, breathing in the scents of cinnamon, jasmine and other exotic scents he could not put names to. The cluttered shelves and stands were filled with vials, books, and claws, feathers, scales and horns no mortal creature boasted. A crystal chandelier bathed the shop in a warm, welcoming glow.

"I've been past this area hundreds of times, but I've never seen this place." Ryu said in a hushed voice filled with awe.

"That's because it only reveals itself to those that have need of its services." A mellow, warm voice said. Shivers ran up Hao's spine; he knew that voice. He turned slowly and stared at the person sitting at a cherry wood desk at the back of the shop, bright blue eyes twinkling merrily at him.

She appeared to be a young woman, early twenties, but Hao knew better than most that appearances could be deceiving. Her hair was white as snow and fuzzed out around her head in a short, soft, wild halo. He knew without looking that there would be a sleek ponytail running from the nape of her neck to her waist. Two soft white wolf ears poked out through her hair in place of regular ears.

"Hello Kia." He greeted her, mouth dry. Her smile widened.

"Well, you're a lot more polite than the last time we met, my old friend." She came around the desk, her white tail curling in amusement behind her. "And you seem to have picked up a passenger as well." She added, her eerie eyes seeming to look straight into his soul.

Hao felt as sense of disorientation and then he wasn't in control anymore. "You can sense me?" Yoh asked with his mouth.

"I can youngling." Kia agreed. "And who am I addressing?"

"I'm Yoh, Hao's twin brother." Yoh explained. "Well, sort of his other half as well."

"I know of this." Kia told him. "Though calling you half, as though incomplete, is incorrect. True your soul started out as a fragment of Hao's, but as time went on and you went on with life it grew and changed. At your core is still that sliver, but you are you, and no one else." Hao could feel Yoh smiling.

"Thank you. How do you know so much?"

"We supernaturals keep an eye on those we feel might upset the balance. That would include your brother." Kia said. "Now then, I'm assuming that the reason this place revealed itself to you is the reason behind you being in another's body."

Yoh explained the battle and what he'd done to Hao and subsequently turning to stone and fading away. His friends added details as he went along. Hao and Yoh noticed the little girl, who looked to be about ten years old, with long shaggy crimson hair and jet black eyes creep over to Kia as they spoke. Hao knew this was Aly, Kia's vampire companion.

Yoh relinquished control of Hao's body when his tale was finished. "It seems that Yoh found the way to save you." Kia mused. "I'm glad of it, though life must be hard for you to bear." Hao nodded dismally. "What Yoh did is actually an incredibly powerful spell only attempted by those who have studied for years and whose magic is very strong. The reason for this is that if someone uses a spell that they do not have the power to truly control there will be a backlash on the spellcaster. You never know what kind of backlash you're going to get."

"Can you fix it?" Manta asked eagerly. Kia started playing with one of the many leather strings holding amulets, feathers, keys and other objects around her neck thoughtfully.

"Not me, my magic, though strong, is best suited for protections and healing spells of a less magical nature." She said. She smiled as they all looked downcast. "That's not to say I don't know someone who can transform stone back into living flesh." She smiled slightly, fingering a claw that looked like it could have come from a lion, a very big lion. "I think it's time for me to call in a favour from him."

"So you get him?" Ren asked.

"I will ask him, though I must go in search of him. He does not call this world his home, you see." Kia explained. Hao saw puzzled looks on all the others' faces, but they did not question her. He wondered if they realized that this girl wasn't what she seemed. He'd known her in his first life, they'd spent a few weeks trading magical secrets and such. She wasn't as kind in his second life, though he knew that what he'd wanted to do disgusted her so he did not blame her for cursing him out.

"How long will you need?" Ryu asked.

"How long will it take you to get us all to where Yoh's body is?" Kia asked in reply.

"If I can call my family we should have a plane ready by tomorrow at the latest." Ren said.

"Well, we'll have to get to your body and then I'll need a day to find him and bring him here." She replied. "Why don't we go back to your place? That way you don't have to come looking for us when it's time to go."

"Us?" Horohoro asked. Kia patted Aly's head.

"This is my companion and assistant, Aly, she goes where I go." Aly let out a soft growl of agreement.

"Fine." Ren agreed shortly. "Shall we go?"

"A moment, if you please, to gather some things and make certain my shop is taken care of." Kia said. She and Aly headed up the stairs in the back of the shop.

"What is this place exactly?" Manta asked, checking the labels on a few vials.

"It's a place for supernaturals in the city to get things they need like illusion spells and needed herbs." Hao explained. "If you believe the stories it was Kia herself who suggested them, a couple hundred years ago."

"You're kidding. She can't be that old." Horohoro scoffed.

"Hao is actually a thousand years old." Ren reminded him.

"Oh, right." Horohoro rubbed his head sheepishly. Kia came back down with a small rucksack and Aly had a sun-shaped medallion around her neck. Kai pulled on a long trenchcoat, hiding her tail from sight.

"Shall we?" She said. Ren checked his watch.

"The bus comes in two minutes."

"I have a car." Kia replied with a smile. She locked the front door of the shop, putting up the closed sign and headed out a back door, the shamans trailing after her. They stared at the little blue Bug waiting patiently for them.

"That's never going to fit all of us." Ryu protested as Kia pulled a scarf over her prominent ears.

"Why don't you get in and see for yourself?" She asked with an amused smile. Hao climbed in first and was unsurprised to find that the interior was a lot roomier than the exterior would suggest. The others got in and stared around in awe. The back seat managed to fit them all, with room to spare even. Hao met Kia's eyes in the rearview mirror and the wolf-girl winked at him impishly.

It didn't take long to get home; Kia was a bit of a speed demon and only seemed to obey traffic laws when it suited her to. She wasn't a bad driver, just a wild one. Everyone was feeling a little queasy by the time she pulled up in front of the inn.

"Who is this?" Anna demanded rudely as Kia and Aly walked in. Aly hissed and hid behind Kia.

"Is that how you greet all guests?" Kia asked pleasantly. "I think someone failed to teach you manners, youngling. I am Kia, sometimes known as Quickpaw or Quickblade."

"She knows how to get Yoh back to normal, so I think you aught to be a little polite to her." Ren informed Anna coolly. "I need to make a phone call, hopefully we'll be going by the end of the day. Do you need a room?"

"If we need to sleep we'll find a comfortable spot." Kia replied. "We're used to sleeping rough, right my dear?" She rubbed Aly's head fondly, prompting a growling purr from the tiny vampire. "It's been awhile since we've napped under the stars." She pulled the scarf off her head and tucked it in a pocket of her trenchcoat and hung the trenchcoat up. Anna's eyebrow twitched but she did not comment.

Ren went to the phone to call his family. Hao padded out to the backyard to work in his garden. He didn't realize their guests had followed him until Aly leaned in to sniff a tulip. "Is this all your handiwork?" Kia asked, looking around the lush and thriving garden.

"Most of it." Hao agreed.

"It's nice to see you serving Life again." Kia commented. Hao looked away from her.

"I don't deserve it." He mumbled, ignoring Yoh's frustrated growl. Kia shifted beside him and lifted his chin so that he was staring her in the eyes.

"Not many people know that Aly and I started out as vampire hunters. We slaughtered any you we came across for quite some time." Kia said, her eyes sad. "The weight of those deaths, knowing now that many were probably good people, is something I can never rid myself of."

"How can you stand it?" Hao asked.

"By helping the very people I hated, by keeping them safe." Kia replied. "I gave myself over to service to Life and will be a servant until the day I finally die. That is my penance, and can be yours too. Dying is easy, Hao, living... living is hard."

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Star: Review plz!


	23. Chapter 23

Star: I own nothing!

It took until the next morning to get a plane for them to head to America in. Hao somehow found himself in the morning outside in the backyard, sandwiched between Aly and Kia. He didn't recall getting up, but Kia told him he'd simply walked out and curled up in the grass, no explanation, just went right back to sleep. Yoh didn't remember anything either.

On the way to the airport and on the plane Kia told stories of her and Aly's adventures that had Yoh and his friends rapt. Eventually most of them dropped off, but Hao was too tense to sleep. Kia stayed awake with him, seemingly unaffected by jet-lag fatigue.

"What are you going to do when this task is done?" Kia asked him quietly.

"Do? I'm presenting myself for my trial and execution." Hao replied. He could say this now because Yoh was asleep within him and could not hear. Her soul-piercing eyes stared into him.

"Do you really think he'll allow that?" She asked. Hao didn't have to ask who she meant. He couldn't look away from her, but his throat had closed up, so he merely shook his head. She released him from the spell of her eyes and he lowered his head, fighting back tears.

"Living with what I've done... you're right, it is hard. Maybe that means dying is a coward's way out, but I just want this pain to stop." He said softly.

"It would not stop, even in death, and you know it." Kia told him. "At least in life you have a chance to atone for what you've done. Wouldn't you like a chance to give back?"

"Perhaps..." Hao admitted softly.

"Tell you what, if you live through this, you can have a position in my shop. I'm probably going to be moving on in a year or so, so I need someone to take over then." She said. "I'm sure your powers, once that collar is removed, can be used to make the illusion spells and such that I always have."

"I'd be giving back..." Hao murmured.

"And I'm certain that you're not comfortable with people as of yet, so this gives you an opportunity without it being awkward for you." Kia added. "Think about it, alright, and get some sleep, you look beat."

"Yes, dear." The familiar old tease made her smile at him. He leaned back and joined his brother in slumber.

%&%&%&%

Everyone except Kia and Aly were seriously jetlagged when they disembarked and were met by Goldva and Silva, who stared in surprise at them. "Lady Quickpaw." Goldva said, recovering first and bowing her head.

"Elder Goldva." Kia replied politely, bowing as well.

"Do you, like, know everyone?" Horohoro asked groggily. She grinned at him.

"No, just a great many people." She replied. She looked up at the sky, the sun was directly overhead. "We must go now, we will meet you at Yoh's body at noon tomorrow, understand?"

"We understand." Hao replied. Yoh was waking up and his nervous anticipation made Hao edgy. Kia smiled at him and then she and Aly loped off.

"Well, let's get lunch." Ryu suggested in the silence that came with their absence. They agreed and headed off, Silva keeping in step with them.

"We don't have anyone manning the food places, because there's no one here, I'll have to get things fired up and ready, so it will take a little bit of time for your food." He explained.

"We'll pick one place to eat while we're here so you don't have to run around opening new places up just for us to eat." Ren said. Silva thanked him with a nod. They chose a small cafe to eat and Ryu offered to help Silva in preparing the food. Silva accepted the help with obvious relief.

Hao fidgeted as they waited. The clamour in his mind from Yoh's excitement and anxiety and his own fears was overwhelming. A hand closed firmly over his arm and he looked up at Ren. "Calm down, both of you." He ordered. "You're making me nervous."

"Sorry." He mumbled and took a deep breath, trying to relax. He could feel Yoh doing the same, although he seemed to be having more success than Hao was. He was thinking about what Kia had said, about life being harder than death and working to repay what he'd done as his goal in life. It would be hard, but that was kind of the point, wasn't it? Yoh was quiet, letting him sort out his thoughts without putting his own thoughts into it.

He wasn't really interested in his lunch, his stomach felt like it was twisting itself in knots with his anxiety, but he ate it all anyways. After lunch they wandered around, looking for something to do to occupy their time until tomorrow noon. Hao and Ren found books and a quiet place under a stand of trees and spent most of the day there. If Hao had to go anywhere he was accompanied by someone and Amidamaru, they weren't taking any chances.

Night finally fell, but Hao didn't think any of them got any real sleep. He was on the roof most of the night, listening to Yoh talk and contemplating his possible fates. He knew Anna would object if Yoh brought him home again, but he didn't think Yoh would care. Yoh hoped she would ease up once he had his own body back, but Hao had serious doubts about that.

When the sun finally came up they all stopped pretending to sleep and convened at the cafe for breakfast and much needed coffee/tea. "What kind of person do you think Kia's getting to help us?" Horohoro asked.

"Who says it's a person?" Ren asked in reply, stirring sugar into his tea before sipping at it. "Whoever it is comes from another world, they could be anything." Horohoro opened his mouth, but was interrupted by another voice.

"Well, so Lyserg was telling the truth." Hao tensed up at the sound of the unwelcome voice. He slowly turned his head and his stomach twisted tighter at the sight of Marco, the Iron Maiden and Lyserg standing there. The latter had a look of frightened defiance on his face. Ren glared at him, muttering darkly to himself.

"If you've come to kill him, I'm afraid you'll have to get through us." Faust said in a calm voice.

"Oh, we won't be killing him, yet." Marco said with a superior smirk. "We know all about Yoh Asakura's predicament, and while he is tainted by Hao, he did save our lives and we feel we owe him at least his chance to live. Once he's free of Hao, all bets are off."

'**Like hell I'm going to let them have you.' **Yoh snarled, his anger surprising Hao. Images flickered in his mind, all the opponents that the X-Laws had tortured and killed. A wave of protectiveness washed over him from Yoh, easing some of the tension that knotted his body. He worried about Yoh, certainly, taking on the X-Laws, but he couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy knowing Yoh would defend him if it came down to it.

"How did you find out about this, anyways?" Ren's voice was almost a snarl.

"I told them." Lyserg said defiantly. "I did some divining and saw that you were here, which meant that you obviously knew how to get Yoh back."

'**Oh, Lyserg...' **Yoh sighed unhappily. **'Where does it all end?'**

'**It doesn't.' **Hao replied dismally. **'Seeing me dead won't bring him satisfaction, I know that firsthand. More likely his continued pain and anger will make him spiral out and hurt more people.'**

'**Like you did?' **Yoh asked gently. Hao's misery answered the question for him. Yoh gave him a spiritual hug and Hao felt sad that he wouldn't get those anymore after today. Yoh gave him another for thinking that.

Ren and Faust made sure to stay with Hao for the rest of the morning. None of them trusted the X-Laws, as evidenced by the weapons they all carried now. "Little traitor." Ren had growled after Lyserg had left their sight.

"Hatred doesn't make room for friendship." Hao told him with a regretful sigh. Faust steered the conversation away from such depressing topics and time passed rather quickly. So, it was a bit of a surprise when Faust looked at his watch and stood up.

"I think we best be going now." He told them. Hao's anxiety tripled, his heart raced and his mouth went dry. This was it.


	24. Chapter 24

Star: I own nothing!

Hao felt incredibly vulnerable, even with all of Yoh's friends flanking him. He couldn't help but feel he was marching to his death, despite Yoh's assurances that he wasn't going to allow it to happen. He was still torn on what he wanted, death or life. He knew that he deserved eternal damnation and that it was what he should be getting, but Kia, and Yoh, they believed in him, which gave him hope.

The entire Patch tribe and the X-Laws of course came along, which was what made Hao so nervous. If Yoh had to fight all of them to prevent him from being killed...Hao would rather just die than have Yoh die for him. Sacrificing himself for his brother wouldn't be a bad way to go, all things considered.

When they got the Great Spirit Hao immediately went to Yoh's stone body. **'This is just weird.' **Yoh commented. **'I mean, that's me, but it doesn't feel like me, you know? But I can still feel it... sort of calling to me.'**

'**You gonna be okay?' **Hao asked, feeling Yoh's uneasiness.

'**Yeah, it's just really weird. Where's Kia?' **Hao looked around, not seeing the mysterious wolf-girl or her mute companion. Everyone else seemed to be doing the same.

"What, pray tell, are we waiting for?" The Iron Maiden asked primly.

"Kia, and whoever she went to get who could get Yoh back to normal." Ren answered tersely.

'**Hey, I think I see something!' **Yoh said excitedly. Hao looked around and saw in the rising heat of the desert what looked like two figures walking towards them. As they drew closer Hao saw that it was Kia, and a massive Lion on whose back Aly was riding, looking mighty pleased with herself.

Marco drew his gun, but the Lion spoke in a calm voice. "You have nothing to fear from me, son of Adam. I am here only to help." Marco looked confused at being addressed so and backed off as the Lion moved towards the statue. The Lion looked at Hao, who stared, transfixed in his eyes. He knew with utmost certainty that he was staring into the Divine.

The lion turned away and regarded the stone statue that was Yoh's body. "Your favour is an easy one my old friend." He commented.

"Perhaps for you my friend, but for me it is all but impossible." Kia retorted, helping Aly off the Lion's back. The lion chuckled deeply. He then breathed on the statue, the sound oddly echoing. The Great Spirit seemed to flare brighter for a second. For a moment nothing happened, and then Hao noticed colour starting to return to Yoh's fingertips and spreading up his extremities.

'**Hao, let me go.' **Yoh said softly. Hao gulped back tears and severed the link that bound Yoh's soul to his body. He felt Yoh being drawn away. His legs buckled and he sank to his knees with a groan, closing his eyes. Yoh was gone, and he felt empty and cold.

Suddenly warm, calloused hands cupped his face and lifted it. He found himself staring into his brother's kind, gentle eyes. A thumb brushed away a stray tear sliding down his cheek. "I'm so proud of you." Yoh murmured.

"Step away Asakura." Marco said in a grimly triumphant voice. "It's time for the Evil One to be punished."

"I'm not letting you kill him." Yoh said loudly, not breaking eye contact with Hao. **'Don't do this Yoh.' **Hao begged silently. Yoh's eyes stared gravely into his.

'**I have to.' **He replied.

"What did you say?" The Iron Maiden demanded. Yoh stood up, facing her.

"I said I'm taking my brother home." He said clearly, firmly. There were angry protests from both the X-Laws and the Patch. Yoh walked towards them, sheathing his sword as he did so. Hao watched as he began to speak quietly to them all. A massive paw rested on his shoulder and he stared once more into the eyes of the Lion.

"Eternal damnation is not for you, my young friend." The Lion said calmly.

"I...I'm sorry?" Hao asked.

"You feel you deserve damnation, you welcome it, and in so doing you in fact no longer deserve it." The Lion replied gently. "The fires are for those who do not understand enough to regret, and who feel no twinge of conscience. Perhaps once you were one such individual, but no more. The pain you put yourself through is more than any lord of the Underworld could put you through."

"I... Who are you?" He asked. The Lion chuckled.

"Who do you think I am?" He asked in reply.

"A God... a Deity of some kind." Hao answered uncertainly.

"I prefer the term 'king' as I am more used to interfering in my subjects' lives directly." The Lion replied.

"Why are you helping us?" Hao asked. "This is not your world."

"Often times the worlds interfere with one another." The Lion explained. "One such incident I can think of is the crowning of four human children as High Kings and Queens. They were from your world, not mine. I owed Kia a favor, for something she made for me to give to one of said children, some time ago, and I was quite happy to help her."

"She really does know everyone." Hao said with a faint amount of humour.

"The path you walk will not be an easy one, my young friend, but you may yet find happiness on it." The Lion told him and then padded off as Yoh came back. Yoh knelt, smiling into Hao's eyes, and helped Hao to his feet. Hao stared into the expressive, love-filled dark eyes and began to cry silently.

Warm arms wrapped around him, holding him close. He clutched at Yoh, happy that he could finally do so, but mourning the loss of the mental connection that they'd had. **'Who says it's gone?' **Yoh asked silently. **'We may even still be able to walk in each other's dreams.' **

Hao opened his eyes and saw the Lion saying goodbye to Kia and Aly, allowing the tiny vampire to hug him tightly before walking off into the desert. The X-Laws and the Patch were watching him with Yoh, some looked angry, others looked thoughtful. Yoh pulled away and something clinked to the ground as he did so.

Hao looked and realized it was the collar. He hadn't even noticed it was still there and now his neck felt exposed without it. "What did you say to them?" He asked quietly.

"I convinced them that making you live with what you've done was a far worse punishment than granting your wish for death." Yoh replied, cupping Hao's face in his hands.

"They accepted that?" Yoh smiled.

"I can be very persuasive when I want to be." He replied. Hao stared at him. It frightened and humbled him that Yoh put such value on his life. A feeling of determination settled in his heart; even if it took him a lifetime he would work to make himself worthy of Yoh's trust and love. As Yoh's smile broadened Hao felt a feeling of peace settle over him. He would battle his depression for the rest of his life, he knew that, but with Yoh by his side, he knew he could get through it.

"Let's go home."

**THE END**

Star: I know, I know, the reference to a certain series of children's novels (cookie for guessing!) is blatantly obvious. Blame the plot bunnies, they made me do it! Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the story and I'll be back with something new for you all very soon.


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